Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Ministry, Volleyball, Kids and Husbands

I met a woman today that I was so excited to meet. She is a fellow minister's wife, a stay at home mother AND a volleyball player.

She spoke today at our Mops group about the importance of friendship.  She did a WONDERFUL job explaining how hard it is to keep up friendships and make new friends when you are stuck at home with kids.  She gave me a LOT of encouraging words, suggestions on how to meet people in the community and suggested a great book to read (What Every Mom Needs by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall)

After her speech I approached her because I was SOOOO excited to meet a fellow minister's wife.

After talking a little bit about how challenging the ministry can be she confessed that her husband is getting out of the ministry and she no longer attends the church that he works at. 

i felt a stab in my heart. 

Everyone my age that I talk to about the ministry ends the conversation with "we are getting out of it because it is too hard."  

Is it REALLY that it is too hard or is it that there is a LACK of support for ministerial families?

I am beginning to feel completely ALONE. 

All of these people are going to seminary, getting church jobs, seeing how challenging it can be and then quitting.  

Don't get me wrong.... we just got out of 2 challenging years with a very challenging church. I even suggested that Roger NOT look for a church job..... I was tired of the drama, the isolation, the back stabbing, the tears I cried EVERY DAY.  It can be REALLY challenging when you are working at a church that just isn't the right fit.

We finally found a church that I feel is the right fit for us and it is WONDERFUL (not to say that there aren't challenging moments).  I feel that we are actually part of the community at this church.

Anyway, my heart broke for her and her husband.  

I wish there was some way to meet up with other ministerial families so we could share words of encouragement.  It seems like EVERY SINGLE person I have talked to is either thinking about leaving the ministry or has left it.

It gets discouraging and makes you think "should we?"

She also talked about how hard it was for her to stay home with the children because she was more of a tom boy and always avoided the chatty girl circles. She played volleyball (like me) and always fit in better as one of the guys.  I mentioned that I played volleyball as well and thought maybe she would be interested in starting up a team.

I was again saddened to hear that she doesn't play anymore because she is now married with children.



She found it inappropriate to still hang out in mixed company now that she is married.  


I left feeling defeated.

meeting people is so hard

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