Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Anna's ear tubes

Anna did super fantastic!  I am so proud of her.

We put her to bed around 6:30pm last night so that she would be fully rested when we got her up around 6am to go to the hospital. She was the happiest child there! All giggly, smiley and saying "Hi baby" to everyone.

I was nervous about the nurses having to take her away but when they reached for her she went with them as she waved bye to me and hi to them. 

Waiting in the waiting room was pleasant. I don't get a lot of sitting time during the day so it was nice to sit for 15 min with a good book, knowing that my child was in good hands.  

After the procedure the Doctor spoke with us shortly and commented on how pleasant Anna was!  She didn't cry at all. She was all smiles. So precious!

Roger and I stood in the hall, by the OR doors, expecting Anna to emerge in a groggy, upset state.  But when the doors opened out walked our precious little baby, in the arms of a nurse, with a big smile on her face. She waved hi to us and bye to the nurse.

We got to the hospital around 6:40am and we got home, with tubes in her ears, at 8:25am.  WOW!!  Pretty fast!!  The best of all is that Anna is in a FANTASTIC mood!  She is starting to get a little fussy but that is to be expected. She is in need of a nap.

Today was a great experience!  Thank you for all the prayers.  And guess what?  I didn't get freaked out. It was very peaceful!

Here is the quote of the morning by Roger "Listen, I have an oral fixation and I am going to need some coffee. "  I sure hope he finally got that coffee when he got to work! I on the other hand got up before the kids to enjoy a nice cup of earl gray before heading out!  That's what I call a smart Mamma!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Anna's ear tubes and Paul's kindergarten

Just a little update. 

Anna goes under the knife (sounds horrible when you say it like that doesn't it) tomorrow morning.  The surgery is not that big of a deal, just gettin' some ear tubes put in. But i have been in a horrible panic. I am so nervous about her being put under (gosh that sounds horrible as well). The doctor acts like it is not that big of a deal, the parents that I have talked to have all assured me that it's not that big of a deal and the websites that I have been googling have claimed that it's not that big of a deal. So, I guess it's not that big of a deal. However, I am nervous about the effects of the gas that they are going to use to put her to sleep. they are going to gas my child? even that sounds horrible. "yeah, we're just going to gas your child, cut a hole in her ear and put a tube in there to drain the water out."   AAAH. When I was little I had a grand total of 7 ear tubes put in but seeing your own child go through something like that is heart breaking. I just have to keep in mind that she'll be able to hear better, so better speech development, and the pain of constant ear infections will hopefully go away.  Poor thing has been in pain since before she was born.

Now on to something completely different

This morning I got Paul registered for Kindergarten. As I was walking out of the building I felt very proud and accomplished. I had no regrets. I had been home with him for 4 wonderful years.  I had been there for every little milestone. As I was walking through the doors I couldn't help but think "this is why I choose my family over a "career"  So that I could truly enjoy each stage of my child's life. No regrets. I haven't missed a thing"  Now I'm trying to figure out whether or not he is socially ready to go this coming year or if I should hold him back. He doesn't turn 5 until this summer and the cut off date is Oct 1, 2010. He will be the youngest in his class and his preschool teacher thinks that holding him off just one more year will be better in the long run. I don't know. I am confused. This is such a big decision for me to make. Gosh I'm just 25 I shouldn't be trying to figure out whether or not my child is ready for kindergarten. So, I  have dusted off my old psychology books from college and I am going to be emailing old professors.  I can't make this decision alone.  

On top of all these decisions I have several books for class to read, a paper and a presentation due next thursday. My brain hurts.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

having a baby

I just read a friends blog that is having trouble getting pregnant. She has always wanted a baby and truth be told I have always thought she would be such a GREAT mother. It pains me to think that she is having such a hard time conceiving. I am near tears right now typing about it. Every morning I have been praying for her. I have never consistently prayed for a friend before. I know it sound bad but it is the truth. I know it sounds weird but reading her blog tonight has helped to ease my guilt and pain. I'll explain

I have been blessed with two children. Getting pregnant was not a a hard thing for me. It just happened. But after having my second child I was informed that I would not be able to have any more children. I had to make the hard decision to have a my tubes cut. It has been miserable. I have cried at least once a month about it. To not be able to have the choice of having another child has been horrible. When everyone else around me is getting pregnant with third children I am stuck at home in tears screaming "I'm just 25 GOD WHY?"

I have felt guilty for even feeling this way. here I am with two children and my friend is unable to even conceive one. how selfish of me? How horrible am I? But in her blog she wrote about how not being able to have a child at any age, whether you already have children or not, is miserable. About how alone you feel. That's what it is. I feel so alone. It is something that I can't really talk to anyone about because they always say "but you have been blessed with two beautiful children. One of each." Yes, I understand that but I can not ever get pregnant ever again. I have been castrated. IT is extremely lonely. I feel so alone but so does my friend. Maybe I am not alone after all.

Monday, February 15, 2010

valentines extravagance

After a fun filled, relaxing Valentines weekend without the kids, Roger and I were enjoying a Sunday afternoon nap. We knew the kids would be back within the next hour and wanted to be well rested before the youthful energy of a 4 year old and 1 year old was reintroduced into the house. 

Right when I was starting to drift into that half awake, but kinda dreaming state of a nap, the phone rang. Roger answered. I could tell it was the Humbles because I thought I had heard Steve's voice. Then I heard the word "Camelot."  A thought rushed through my head "that's playing at the opera house!"   After a brief phone conversation with Steve, Roger informed me that Sarah wasn't feeling well because of her surgery and wanted to know if we would like her Opera house tickets for the evening (she has season tickets) to see Camelot. I was so excited I started hopping up and down on the bed "Lets go! Lets go! Lets go! Be spontaneous Rog! YAY"  

The only problem and a major problem it was, the kids were on their way back from the grandparents. What to do?  "Rog, this is an awesome opportunity and I will go alone if I have to. I've gotta see this play."  After calling around frantically (keep in mind that it was 2pm on valentines day and the play was at 7pm) we finally got a hold of one of our youth, Caroline, and she was excited about watching the kids.  YAY!!  We found someone that we trusted to watch our children that was willing to come over last minute!  

After making arrangements with Caroline our door bell rang and the youthful energy was welcomed back into the house. I sure missed those two. While they were gone Roger and I did the following:

1.Thursday night after class I was greeted with a warm fire, chocolate covered strawberries, wine, a good movie and a house with no children.

2. Friday roger willingly exercised with me for the first time. He isn't telling a fib when he says he has no rythmn. The poor guy could barely do the "punch, punch, step, kick"  It was pretty funny. Then we went out to eat for lunch before coming back to the house to sit in the quite and read with some drinks

3. Saturday we got to sleep in until 7:30!!  WOW  We made breakfast and lunch together, I knitted and read until I yelled out "what in the world do people do with their time if they don't have kids. This is nuts how numb my butt is and how dry my eyes are. Let's get out of here."  So, we went to a movie and dinner before picking up some more drinks and heading home to chill.

So, sunday was back to work.  Well, so we thought.  Then the Humbles called and threw some spontaneity back into our lives! 

I got dressed in my sexy black dress with white polka dots, my black pearls, and my black boots(can you hear the ziiiiiiiipppp sound?) while Roger got dressed up in his hot black suit with his fansy smansy tie.  He even put on some cologne for me!! We were smoking hot and giddy for a free night out at the Opera House.  In true Romantic fashion a perfect snow began to fall as we walked through downtown to the Opera House. It made the giddy, snugly feelings all warm and mushy. 

There is just something magical that takes place as soon as you enter the lexington Opera House. Built over 10o years ago, threatened by a wrecking ball and salvaged, the architecture, the smell, the colors, the laughter, it all takes me back in time. I truly felt like I had entered a time machine! I always do.

Our seats were FABULOUS!!  I wouldn't have expected anything less from the Humbles. They know good seats when they see them! 

When the curtains opened, the actors appeared and the orchestra began to play, I was swept back in time. I was able to take in the beauty of the theatre, the soothing sound of the cello, the warmth of my handsome husband by my side and the energy of the actors. It was remarkable and I wish that I could have sat there, in that moment forever.  Magical? Spiritual? Romantic?  All of the above!

Now we are back to reality. Anna is currently screaming in the floor, mad that we are trying to put her jammies on. Paul is standing naked in the bathroom brushing his teeth. Roger is frantically pacing the floor with an exhausted, frustrated expression on his face (his classes were canceled because of the snow so he has been home with us today). And I am sitting here praying we get the kids to bed within the next 10 min.  I wouldn't have it any other way!!  I adore the little family that I have been blessed with!  They are perfect and I love them with a love that I never knew I could ever have. It is true Bliss! It is My fairy tale.  

"And they lived happily ever after"


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

seminary and children do not work

This just isn't working. Anna plays and is happy until I finally decide to pick up a book for class and get some reading in. Then she throws a massive fit, ripping the book out of my hand, sometimes ripping pages.  I get mad, she gets mad.  then I opt to do some research on the computer while she enjoys an afternoon snack.  Well, you guessed it. She throws a fit, ripping the cord out of the computer, resulting in me loosing everything I had been working on.  I get frustrated and she just laughs.  

basically, I am thinking about dropping out of seminary until Roger graduates and Anna is able to go to preschool.  how am I suppose to stay sane, get the house work done, take care of the needs of my children and study all at the same time?  It just doesn't work.  It is ridicules.  I guess I just need to realize it's Roger's glory days right now. I'm just here to tend to the house and children.  Maybe one day I'll be able to go back to school full time.  but right now, I think it is Roger's turn to live his dreams. I'll just wait.  Maybe?  I haven't made my mind up.