What a lovely past couple of days it has been. On Tuesday I was starting to get really restless at home with the kids. I wanted to get out, I needed to get out. Not shopping. Not to the park. I needed to see the family. I yearned to go to the farm and enjoy the peacefulness of watching cows chew their cud whilst sitting under a shade tree. I had that need to go back to my childhood through my son.
So, on wednesday, after finding out how busy Roger is was going to be with church and school work (his God work as we lovingly refer to it) I took advantage of the situation, packed up the kids and headed "home."
I can't explain to you how refreshing it was for me to walk into mammal's house and be greeted by several of my cousins, two of my uncles and a table full of freshly caught fish. Here's the kicker, it was 4 in the afternoon!! I love the randomness that is my family. Mammal took the kids, poured, me some lemonade and I packed my plate full of her deliousious hush puppies. mmmmmm
After awhile my uncle D and cousin K set out determined to get Papal's old (actually it is VERY new) tractor working so they could bushhog. I sat in anticipation with Paul. He want to ride the tractor soooooo bad. To be honest, I did too. There is just something about tractor rides that makes me all giddy. I love them.
Anyway, they finally got the tractor started, the field bushhogged and then headed back to give us a ride. It was marvelous. I was Paul's little hero. "My mom took me on a tractor ride!!! she rocks!!!" It made me miss my hero, Papal. The last time I rode in the tractor it was with him. As I was riding around all I could think about was how much I would love to have a farm of my own someday (that is the key word, someday. not now. but someday). That's when the inner dialogue began. "jess, why not buy a farm?" "because they're a lot of work." "But Jess, you like working and enjoy farms." "oh I don't know if I'm ready for something like a farm. Maybe when I reach retiring age." "exactly, that's what I'm talking about."
I spent the night with my parents and the next day Paul insisted that we get up at 7am to ride his little tractor (a little electric john deer) and play basket ball. Which consists of me trying to get the ball into the basket while he chases me around. It ended up being a very pleasant morning. My parents live on 5 acres so paul got to run, hop, skip and drive his tractor where ever he pleased while I sat with Anna reading, sipping some yummy starbucks coffee my Dad made and writing in my journal.
Later in the afternoon I took the kids to mammal's to play. Mammal watched Anna while I took Paul and two of my little cousins out on the Mule to see the new calfs. I love this time of year. The farm looks so lush and green, the mamma cows are having their calfs and the middle field of the farm is being tilled for the new season. When I was little I used to ride my motorcycle, or shall we say the hand-me down family motorcycle, around the farm, through the trees, all day long. Occasionally stopping to say hi to Papal when he would take a break from the farm work, pull out his folded lawn chair from the back of his truck and sit staring out at the cows while smoking his pipe, chewing his backer and taking long swallows of his water jug, in which mammal had frozen the bottom half for him so it would remain cold throughout the day. Man, I sure miss that fine soul.
When we got back to mammal's from the field one of my uncles was there. He has just recently bought a house boat and the last two nights he and his youngest son have slept on it. It made me so happy to see how happy he was. The last two years have been really rough on him. He went through a not very nice divorce, his two oldest sons (twins) graduated from high school and went to college, and his Father died and left him as president of the Family company. A lot of stuff to deal with all at once. But, that day he seemed to not only be making it day by day, but ENJOYING the whole processes of living.
Ever since I can remember this specific uncle, the one that I mentioned previously that I have deiced to call D, has been flying kites. It's funny to look at old family photos or movies and see D in the background flying a kite. Strange?? I don't know. He's pretty wicked at keeping the thing up in the air. Anyway, he brought his kite to mammal's and tried his best to show me the "family secret" of keeping the thing up in the air and "driving" the kite. Apparently my great grandfather built this kite string holding contraption in which there is a crank, to crank the string in fast, and a wheel with a finger holder so that you can let the string out fast when ever you get a gush of air. I had no clue there was so much science that went into kite flying. I guess that's why the only place I tend to be able to fly a kite is at the beach. (who knew)
I had a great time, me, paul, anna, my mammal and my uncle D all standing outside flying a kite. Once again, it made me miss my papal, but it felt good that his childlike spirt was still in all of us. And I am going to try my best to pass on that childlike spirit to my son and daughter. Maybe even rubbing a little off on others on the way.
I'm at home now sitting in my kitchen listening to the sounds of the washing machine and the dishwasher while paul and anna take their, oh so lovely, afternoon naps. I can't help but think about God's grace and love when I am having moments like this. Moments that give me the chance to catch my breath, to realize how blessed I am. To realize that life is full of these precious moments and not so precious moments, that we often times take for granted and then wish we had back.
Lord, help me to fully experience life within the moments. Whether it be a slow walk to the library in which I take the time to listen to the birds singing, notice the wind blowing through my hair and enjoy the feeling of little Paul holding my hand or the times when the kids are discontent with everything and I have no more energy to sustain one more climb up the stairs. Help me to enjoy each moment because within each moment is life. And I am being to adore it!