Thursday, April 30, 2009


What a lovely past couple of days it has been. On Tuesday I was starting to get really restless at home with the kids. I wanted to get out, I needed to get out. Not shopping. Not to the park. I needed to see the family. I yearned to go to the farm and enjoy the peacefulness of watching cows chew their cud whilst sitting under a shade tree. I had that need to go back to my childhood through my son.

So, on wednesday, after finding out how busy Roger is was going to be with church and school work  (his God work as we lovingly refer to it) I took advantage of the situation, packed up the kids and headed "home." 

I can't explain to you how refreshing it was for me to walk into mammal's house and be greeted by several of my cousins, two of my uncles and a table full of freshly caught fish. Here's the kicker, it was 4 in the afternoon!! I love the randomness that is my family. Mammal took the kids, poured, me some lemonade and I packed my plate full of her deliousious hush puppies. mmmmmm

After awhile my uncle D and cousin K set out determined to get Papal's old (actually it is VERY new) tractor working so they could bushhog. I sat in anticipation with Paul. He want to ride the tractor soooooo bad. To be honest, I did too. There is just something about tractor rides that makes me all giddy. I love them.

Anyway, they finally got the tractor started, the field bushhogged and then headed back to give us a ride. It was marvelous. I was Paul's little hero. "My mom took me on a tractor ride!!! she rocks!!!" It made me miss my hero, Papal. The last time I rode in the tractor it was with him. As I was riding around all I could think about was how much I would love to have a farm of my own someday (that is the key word, someday. not now.  but someday).  That's when the inner dialogue began. "jess, why not buy a farm?"  "because they're a lot of work."  "But Jess, you like working and enjoy farms." "oh I don't know if I'm ready for something like a farm. Maybe when I reach retiring age." "exactly, that's what I'm talking about."  

I spent the night with my parents and the next day Paul insisted that we get up at 7am to ride his little tractor (a little electric john deer) and play basket ball. Which consists of me trying to get the ball into the basket while he chases me around.  It ended up being a very pleasant morning. My parents live on 5 acres so paul got to run, hop, skip and  drive his tractor where ever he pleased while I sat with Anna reading, sipping some yummy starbucks coffee my Dad made and writing in my journal.   

Later in the afternoon I took the kids to mammal's to play. Mammal watched Anna while I took Paul and two of my little cousins out on the Mule to see the new calfs.  I love this time of year. The farm looks so lush and green, the mamma cows are having their calfs and the middle field of the farm is being tilled for the new season.  When I was little I used to ride my motorcycle, or shall we say the hand-me down family motorcycle, around the farm, through the trees, all day long.  Occasionally stopping to say hi to Papal when he would take a break from the farm work, pull out his folded lawn chair from the back of his truck and sit staring out at the cows while smoking his pipe, chewing his backer and taking long swallows of his water jug, in which mammal had frozen the bottom half for him so it would remain cold throughout the day.  Man, I sure miss that fine soul.
After letting Paul try to catch him a calf, getting freaked out that there were so many bulls and getting chased by the psycho cow/chicken watching guard dog, we headed back to mammal's. On the way Paul spotted our old tree house. We stopped. Climbed up the ladder and I proceeded to reminisce once again. When I was little all of us Buckaroos (the grandkids) kept trying, unsuccessfully, to build a tree house. Papal noticed this and decided he would ask, well, force, our uncles to build one for us while he watched over the production. I must say, it is rather spiffy. It has a rather large front porch, an actual screen door and two windows that Papal got from an old bus. When we were little we hauled an old couch up the ladder, (don't ask how we managed to not drop the thing and kill ourselves, it's a God thing) but over the years it has gotten NASTEY and was taken out. Now the tree house is empty but full of memories.   "Paul I could do a lot with this place."  "Yeah mom, a lot!!!"  ***jump** ( he jumps when he's excited)

When we got back to mammal's from the field one of my uncles was there. He has just recently bought a house boat and the last two nights he and his youngest son have slept on it.  It made me so happy to see how happy he was. The last two years have been really rough on him. He went through a not very nice divorce, his two oldest sons (twins) graduated from high school and went to college, and his Father died and left him as president of the Family company. A lot of stuff to deal with all at once.  But, that day he seemed to not only be making it day by day, but ENJOYING the whole processes of living.

Ever since I can remember this specific uncle, the one that I mentioned previously that I have deiced to call D, has been flying kites.  It's funny to look at old family photos or movies and see D in the background flying a kite. Strange??  I don't know.  He's pretty wicked at keeping the thing up in the air. Anyway, he brought his kite to mammal's and tried his best to show me the "family secret" of keeping the thing up in the air and "driving" the kite.  Apparently my great grandfather built this kite string holding contraption in which there is a crank, to crank the string in fast, and a wheel with a finger holder so that you can let the string out fast when ever you get a gush of air.  I had no clue there was so much science that went into kite flying. I guess that's why the only place I tend to be able to fly a kite is at the beach. (who knew)   
I had a great time, me, paul, anna, my mammal and my uncle D all standing outside flying a kite.  Once again, it made me miss my papal, but it felt good that his childlike spirt was still in all of us. And I am going to try my best to pass on that childlike spirit to my son and daughter. Maybe even rubbing a little off on others on the way.

I'm at home now sitting in my kitchen listening to the sounds of the washing machine and the dishwasher while paul and anna take their, oh so lovely, afternoon naps. I can't help but think about God's grace and love when I am having moments like this. Moments that give me the chance to catch my breath, to realize how blessed I am. To realize that life is full of these precious moments and not so precious moments, that we often times take for granted and then wish we had back.

Lord, help me to fully experience life within the moments. Whether it be a slow walk to the library in which I take the time to listen to the birds singing, notice the wind blowing through my hair and enjoy the feeling of little Paul holding my hand or the times when the kids are discontent with everything and I have no more energy to sustain one more climb up the stairs. Help me to enjoy each moment because within each moment is life. And I am being to adore it!  

Saturday, April 25, 2009

mother's addicted to internet

an interesting article about mom's and their addictions to the internet.  you know I love me some studies!!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

what a day

As we were walking back from the park i noticed that our gutter on the front of the house, above the porch looked like it was sagging a bit. So, I decided that I wanted to climb out on the roof to check out the gutter. Roger, got freaked out and didn't want me out on the roof alone ( a man thing I guess).  Being the determined little snot I am I climbed out on the roof with him anyway.

We crawled out of Anna's window so I just left the kids in her room with the door shut. I left the window open because paul was standing there watching us and I was hanging out close by the window.  All of a sudden I heard a scream. I turned towards the window and noticed that it had slammed shut all by itself. (they're very OLD windows)  Then I noticed that Anna's hands were under the closed window. I screamed "Roger, oh my GOD."  It seemed like it took forever but we finally managed to get the window open only to find Anna's hand completely smashed. It looked horrible. A mother's worst nightmare. My knees started shaking and I felt like I was going to loose my balance.  All I could keep saying was "we've got to go to the hospital. oh, God her hand, her hand."  

To make a long story short we rushed her to the emergency room, had several x-rays (hard with an 11month old) and left with a bear, motrin, and a "she'll heal faster than you will" from the doctor.  I'm just thinking God that he was watching out for us. I can't help but think "what if it was her head that was in the window."  

"Thank you Lord for watching over, sorry I took your name in vain.  I'll work on that."  Amen     

Thursday, April 16, 2009

playing dress up

Anna and I played dress up this morning after her lovely little bath. My mom got her two adorable dresses and I just couldn't help but think "wow, I have a little girl.  so, I guess I need to practice being all girly."  It was so fun putting her in little dresses and watching her discover the texture. She is so funny. I told her we were trying to "pick out her dress for derby day so we would know what kind of hat to get!"

Friday, April 10, 2009

interdenominational group for wives of ministers

So, being new to the whole "my husband is a full time minister" thing I have been in great need of some mentoring. I have so many questions about so many things and so many burdens to get off of my shoulders by sharing them with other ministers' wives.  

For the past 2 months I have been in the non stop thinking mode of "wouldn't it be nice to have a ministers' wives only club."  An all exclusive club for those strong women who so often times work tiresly behind the scenes with little to no recognition. Those women who feel they have no one to confide in for fear of their dirty laundry being spread out all over town. If your the wife of a minster you know what I mean.

About two weeks ago, after some deep prayer, I decided to pick up the oh so lovely Western Recorder (a baptist newspaper) that was lying on the table beside the couch. Roger, gets them in every so often and most of the time I throw them away before ever thumbing through them. However, for some reason, you could say it was God, I do, I thumbed through it that day. The first article that I came across was about a conference that was held for ministers' wives intitled "Between Us".  WOW!!! I got very excited, perked up and read through the article. The two women that held the conference were fellow ministers' wives who had gotten together to write a devotional book for ministers' wives intitled "In Our Shoes."  

The authors Jennifer Landrith and Rachel Lovingood "categorize minister's wife's into four descriptions"
  • A Specific Calling The women felt a clear, distinct call to ministry 
  • A General Calling:  The woman felt called to serve but didn't know specifically in what capacity

  • An Unexpected Calling: The woman was surprised by the call to ministry. maybe she married an accountant that later became a pastor. 
  • An Impersonal Calling: The woman sees the ministry as their husbands job. Often they resist the concept of partnering with their husbands in ministry.

After reading about this book and their categories I decided to research it a bit and ultimatly decided to BUY the darn thing.  The week before I actually bought the book I had decided that it would be a great tool to use during the "minister's wife's only meetings."  To my surprise, upon receiving the book from my lovely husband who made a random trip to the book store for me, I found a leaders guide section in the back of the book. The authors had placed that section in the book for those minister's wife's, like myself that had a yearning to start a group but had no clue about how to go about starting one.  AWESOME.  

But, I am a little freaked out. I kinda feel like Moses here "But Lord I stutter."  Of course I don't stutter but I am young and new to the ministry. I have the fear that the wives of ministers who have been in the ministry for 15 to 25 years will look at me and be like "what does she think she is doing.?"  So, I have wrestled with this and prayed a lot about it. But I have such a strong conviction that I just can't not do it because of my fear. 

My next step is to contact the wives that live in the community and have an informational meeting about the group. I want this to be a group in which everyone is a leader. I'm pretty excited!!!  So, well, here I go out to start an exclusive interdenominational group for wives of ministers.
Let's all pray :)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

a day to reflect

I'm so tired and have no clue what to do with myself.  Should I take a nap, sit outside and read the pleasure book I brought that I think sucks (twilight), should I work on my paper that is due the monday after we get back, should I go sit in the hot tub in the rain??  Who knows??  It is a dilemma.  So, I guess I will right a blog and see what happens after that.

Today is our last day at the beach. (sad times)  but it has been a very relaxing day (even though I am tired right now.)  This morning I got up bright a early (not really) and sat alone with a cup of coffee, a bowl of cereal and my Bible. After that I put on my walking gear and took off alone on the mile walk to the beach through the beautiful trees. A storm was brewing on the horizon so it was dark and misty but oh so lovely. I enjoyed taking in all the sights, sounds and smells of the world around me. At one point I found myself rubbing my hand across the bushes to watch the dew drop onto the ground and onto my hand.

The beach was beautiful. There is just something sacred about being alone on the beach in the morning hours. I walked a little ways down to where all the MASSIVE houses are. It seemed more peaceful there. It was away from the hotels and resorts. I found myself sitting on the wet sand close enough to the ocean that the waves were touching the tip top of my shoes. I sat there for a good 30 min.  Looking out.  Contemplating life.   Then all of a sudden I saw something in the distance.  I focused my eyes as much as I could and I believe there was a group of dolphins jumping.  Who knows if that is really what I saw.  But at that moment that is what my mind saw.  My heart smiled.

On the walk back to the resort I stopped into the resort that Roger and I stayed at on our honeymoon 5 years ago. I walked around reminiscing about our stay and how much we have grown as individuals and as a couple. I began to wonder what our next five years would be like.
After a nice hot shower Roger and I decided to have lunch at the same place we ate at during our honeymoon. It is a restraunt located in the hilton at the weston resort here on the island. We had alligator for appetizer, I had shrimp and grits ( a local fav) and he had some sort of chicken sandwich thing.  We also split a glass of Riesling. 

Since I got back from my walk this morning it has been pouring the rain. But we have still had a lovely day. I feel very blessed to be alive. This afternoon we plan on going to the ocean and jumping in. No matter how cold or rainy. Then we are going to run to the nearest hot tub to warm up.  My only fear is that Ill get eaten by a shark. But what is the likely hood??  Adventure, that it my middle name.  Right??