Friday, September 30, 2011

Down on the Farm

While Roger headed to  Morocco on a jet plane, I packed up my rain boots and headed to the Family farm!

I've only been here for 3 hours and it has already been quite eventful.

When I walked into Mom and Dad's they were running out "gotta go gotta go."

My brother Jacob and his wife Shannon were celebrating their 1 year anniversary.
My brother was surprising his wife by having a special night time picnic in the middle of the farm.
They got married on the farm a year ago and had a local BBQ restaurant cater the reception. 
Mom and Dad were sneaking out to put up a table and chairs and set out the BBQ from the restaurant along with an oil lamp so they could see and of coarse the wedding cake top.

When they got on the farm they were met by the BIG bull that just about got out.
Hilarious story.

Mom and Dad didn't get out of the field in time and Shannon saw their lights "who's out in the field? Why are we going out in the field?"
Mom waved at them as they passed by.

Jacob said the big bull came up next to them while they were trying to eat in the middle of the field which was kinda creepy since it was so dark.

I was also informed that the field that mawmaw planted in corn has been harvested and that she has made a MASSIVE amount on the corn!!   YAY MAWMAW!!

I had NO CLUE a field of corn yielded that MUCH profit.

MAN ALIVE!!!














Thursday, September 29, 2011

Is Your Church Too Cool?


*The following is an article that was written in Relevant Magazine by Rachel H. Evans

How a pursuit of relevance can undermine authentic community.
People sometimes assume that because I’m a progressive 30-year-old who enjoys Mumford and Sons and has no children, I must want a super-hip church—you know, the kind that’s called “Thrive” or “Be,” and which boasts “an awesome worship experience,” a fair-trade coffee bar, its own iPhone app and a pastor who looks like a Jonas brother.
While none of these features are inherently wrong (and can of course be used by good people to do good things), these days I find myself longing for a church with a cool factor of about 0.

That’s right.

I want a church that includes fussy kids, old liturgy, bad sound, weird congregants  and—brace yourself—painfully amateur “special music” now and then.

Why?

Well, for one thing, when the Gospel story is accompanied by a fog machine and light show, I always get this creeped-out feeling like someone’s trying to sell me something. It’s as though we’re all compensating for the fact that Christianity’s not good enough to stand on its own so we’re adding snacks.

But more importantly, I want to be part of an uncool church because I want to be part of a community that shares the reputation of Jesus. Like it or not, Jesus’ favorite people in the world were not cool. They were mostly sinners, misfits, outcasts, weirdos, poor people, sick people and crazy people.  
Embracing the Distractions 
Cool congregations can get so wrapped up in the “performance” of church that they forget to actually be the Church, a phenomenon painfully illustrated by the story of the child with cerebral palsy who was escorted from an Easter service for being a “distraction.”

Really?

It seems to me this congregation was distracted long before this little boy showed up. In their self-proclaimed quest for “an explosive, phenomenal movement of God—something you have to see to believe,” they missed Jesus when He was right under their nose.

Was the paralytic man lowered from the rooftop in the middle of a sermon a distraction?

Was the Canaanite woman who harassed Jesus and His disciples about healing her daughter a distraction?

Were the blind men from Jericho who annoyed the crowd with their relentless cries a distraction?

Jesus didn’t think so. In fact, He seemed to think they were the point.
Jesus taught us that when we throw a banquet or a party, our invitation list should include “the poor, the crippled, the lame and the blind.” So why do our church marketing teams target the young, the hip, the healthy and the resourced?
We Are All Uncool
In Bossypants, Tina Fey describes working for the YMCA in Chicago soon after graduating from college. This particular YMCA included, “a great mix of high-end yuppie fitness facility, a wonderful community resource for families and an old-school residence for disenfranchised men.” Fey shares a host of funny stories about working the front desk. One such story involves one of the residents forgetting to take his meds, bumping into a young mom on her way to a workout session and saying something wildly inappropriate. Fey writes: “The young mother was beside herself. That’s the kind of trouble you get when diverse groups of people actually cross paths with one another. That’s why many of the worst things in the world happen in and around Starbucks bathrooms.”

Church can be a lot like the YMCA—or a Starbucks bathroom. 
We have one place for the uncool people—our ministries—and another place for the cool people—our church services. When we actually bump into one another, things can get “awkward,” so we try to avoid it.

The truth is we’re all guilty of thinking we’re too cool for the least of these. Our elitism shows up when we forbid others from contributing art and music because we deem it unworthy of glorifying God, or when we scoot our family an extra foot or two down the pew when the guy with Asperger's sits down. Having helped start a church, I remember hoping our hip guests wouldn’t be turned off by our less-than-hip guests. For a second I forgot that in church, of all places, those distinctions should disappear.

Some of us wear our brokenness on the inside, others on the outside.

But we’re all broken.

We’re all uncool.

We’re all in need of a Savior.

So let’s have some distracting church services—the kind where Jesus would fit right in.
Rachel Held Evans is the author of Evolving in Monkey Town: How A Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions (Zondervan, 2010). She blogs at http://rachelheldevans.com.  


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I have done gone crazy

I have no clue what has gotten into me.

The past few weeks I've noticed myself turning into a little Martha Stewart.
This is quite unusual for me.
Maybe it is because I am getting closer to 30?

Oh my goodness guys.
What in the world is going on with me?

Is this what happens in the 7th year of marriage and 6th year of parenthood?
Is this "change" normal?

Oh MY GOSH I think I'm turning into a real honest to goodness house wife.

RUN. FOR. YOUR. LIFE

In the mornings I have been getting up super early to knit these adorable little baby bird booties for a special friend's baby.

I've been COOKING...... pause for a second to take in that statement..... I've been cooking and WANTING to cook and finding fun recipes to cook.  

WAIT A SECOND, DON'T I HATE COOKING.  
Recipes are fun??

I baked the kids a homemade pizza last night, made the crust and everything.
Last weekend I made a big Autumn Harvest Pork Tenderloin. I had to have Roger help me cut up the butternut squash because I wasn't strong enough.  
oh my gosh I was so excited about buying a butternut squash and making a dish to celebrate fall.

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON WITH ME?

I've been MAKING Roger coffee.

WHAT?
I don't make coffee for people without them twisting my arm.

I'm a TEA DRINKER!!!!!!!

And this afternoon I decided to take this old brown wicker chair

and give it a face lift

Can someone say front porch sittin' with some hot cider?!?!?

Roger came home for lunch to find me doing this little project.
He thinks I am going cRaZy.

No, seriously, for real.

I have been SPASTIC.

I told him I was wanting to learn to sew my own clothes!!!





Tuesday, September 27, 2011

For the Grandparents

I guess this post is mainly for the grandparents so they can keep up with what the grandkids are doing.

This past week and weekend was once again FABULOUS.

Now that the school year has started back both the kids are back at it and LOVING it.

Paul is LOVING kindergarten!!
He loves Music, Art, Library, PE but most of all he is LOVING that he is learning to READ!!
He is READING!!!
READING!!!!
OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!

It is only a few sight words at the moment but last night Roger had him sound out a word that he had never studied before and he actually SOUNDED OUT THE WORD!!!

This is a BIG DEAL for us because Roger and I are both dyslexic and worried so much about Paul having a rough time in school.
So far so good!

Anna's programs in the community have started back FULL FORCE as well!
This community has so many FREE things for the little ones.

On Tuesday and Thursday morning she goes to a toddler stretch class at the fitness center.
On Wednesday morning she has her hour long reading group that includes a craft and a lesson on the alphabet.
Every other Friday morning she has a music class with Mrs. Joanna Black.

On Tuesday after her stretch class she goes grocery shopping with me and makes her rounds.
She stops by the florist to get a free balloon, by the deli to get a free cookie and gets a free sucker at the check out.

SHE LOVES IT!

This monday afternoon, after I picked paul up from school, we met up with another SAHM, Amy, and her children at the park to play.  Afterwards we went to Amy's house for ice cream.  Amy has 5 children so my 2 have a BLAST at her house!!!  And I have a great time  as well talking to a fellow SAHM/Pastor's wife.  It's wonderful!

Here are some snap shots of Anna LOVING her music class!




This friday afternoon we had our friends over for dinner and a fire pit.
Our friend Colt, who is a biologist, has been in Montana all summer long hiking around collecting bear fur for research.  He brought with him some incredible pictures and BEAR STORIES!!!

Guess who else stopped by?
ADAM MOORE!
He is currently stationed in Korea but was on a 2 week leave. 

 Our good buddy Tyler stopped by for dinner as well and of corse any time Tyler is around there is work to be done. He seeks it out. This time he looked into our walnut trees and said "well, ya'll got a big ol' dead limb up there" and proceeded to pull on it with all of his might.
It was a MASSIVE limb that we lost in a spring storm that I have been trying to figure out how we were going to get out of the tree.

Tyler got it out!

Thanks Tbird!

FIRE WOOD! 

colt, adam and tyler

The kids decided to help cut up the limb.

roger and colt

That night Colt stayed the night and the next morning (saturday) took our whole little family out to breakfast at Craker Barrel.
Now how sweet was that?!?!
It was so wonderful being able to catch up with Colt!

We're all  trying to convince him to move out here to Etown with us!

Saturday afternoon we took a big long family walk, ate a quick dinner and snuggled up on the couch to watch one of my NEW favorite movies, Gnomeo and Juliet.
I'm serious!  That movie is AWSOME.
I have watched it twice so far and I can't stop thinking about it.
CRACKS ME UP!!






On Sunday afternoon we headed to My Old Kentucky Home state park for a gorgeous wedding!





Every night before bed Anna loves for me to cuddle up with her in her toddler bed while she tells me little stories she makes up.  Roger caught some of it on Sunday night.

I had to add this picture here from Monday (yesterday).  I left Anna for a split second and she dumped all her dora shampoo in the bath, bubbled up her butt and took off running through the house.

Also, get ready grandparents, Paul had his kindergarten pictures for school taken on Monday!!  
We ordered some for you all.
Monday afternoon he showed me the smile that he made for the picture, it was massive, so the pics should be REALLY show his little personality!  

Ps: Nanna and Pop, I am taking care of Roger as well.  This morning after he left for class Anna handed me a paper that she had drawn a pretty picture on. I turned the paper over the find Roger's greek homework.  OH NO.  "Class is 2 hours away and he starts in a few minutes and he NEEDS his greek homework."   I copied the translations he had worked so hard on and emailed them to him!

YAY!!!
Problem avoided!



Sunday, September 25, 2011

Have the writers and producers of this show been following Roger and I around.

Seriously?

Have they set small cameras throughout our house to catch our crazy moments?

Oh my goodness this show is RIGHT ON.

Especially the scene at the grocery.  Don't even ask Roger how many times I have called him in a panic while trying to find something at the grocery store.

Check it out!!!



Saturday, September 24, 2011

A Spoon Full Of Suger?

One winter while I was at a friends house discussing books she declared "Oh I just LOVE the Mary Poppins books my P.L Travers!"  I was a bit confused "Isn't that a disney movie?"
She then explained to me the story behind the movie.

P.L Travers was an Australian native who grew up with a love for literature and an admiration for J. M Barrie, the author of Peter Pan. In fact, once she wrote the first story of Mary Poppins she sought out Peter Davies, the adopted son of Barrie and supposed inspiration for the book Peter Pan, to be her publisher.

P.L Travers wrote many novels, poetry collections, children's books and a few non fiction.
She also worked as a journalist. 
Her most famous character, Mary Poppins, is the most widely known.

However, few know the REAL Mary Poppins.

P.L Travers' Mary Poppins is depicted within a series of children's novels written between 1934 and 1989. Travers claims that she did not make the character up, that the character came to her while she was sick in bed one day and would not leave her alone until she began to write her out.

  • Mary Poppins - 1934
  • Mary Poppins Comes Back- 1935
  • Mary Poppins Opens the Door - 1944
  • Mary Poppins in the Park - 1952
  • Mary Poppins From A-Z - 1963
  • Mary Poppins in the Kitchen - 1975
  • Mary Poppins in Cherry Tree Lane - 1982
  • Mary Poppins and the House Next Door - 1989

[edit]


Walt Disney loved the idea of Mary Poppins and began working on an adaption which focused on the first book, along with a small part of the second. 
Although P.L Travers as an production advisor to the disney musical once it was complete she absolutely hated it.  
She was furious that Walt Disney did not listen to her requests and instead added what she thought was awful animation, distasteful music and worst of all, changed her character of Mary Poppins from a harsh mysterious nanny to a soft, whimsical disneyfied version of the original.

In fact, Walt Disney didn't even invite her to the premier of the movie, she had to ask permission to attend.  It is rumored that at the premier she walked up to disney DEMANDING that the animation be taken out. At that, Walt Disney walked away saying "Pamela, the ship has sailed."

She vowed from then on out that no more of her books would be adapted into movies.
She even had it placed in her last will and testament.

Travers in the musical A Midsummer Nights Dream. She was also an actress. 

Although Travers never married, at the age of 40 she adopted a young boy named Camillus, from Ireland.


When I began reading the first Mary Poppins book I was astonished how different the main character was from the movie. As I began to read, page after page, I fell in love with the harsher, mysteriously magical, sharp Mary Poppins and the dry sense of humor that carries the book. 
I now want to live on Cherry Tree Lane!

Like always, anytime I find a collection of books to drool over I read them as slowly as possible in order to suck every single ounce of joy from their pages. 

I also annoy the HECK out of my husband by running into whatever room he happens to be in, jumping in front of him with excitement and reading to him a funny or moving section of the book.

He politley smiles, acts interested, then carries on with whatever he was doing before disturbed him with my childlike excitement.

I'm trying to pace myself with the Mary Poppins books. 
So far I have only read two of them. 
One I finished about a year ago and the other I just finished this morning.

It makes it easier when there are only 2 at the library and no money in the pocket to buy books with. 

However, I did jump up and down in the living room a while back asking Roger to "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get me the Mary Poppins collection for Christmas!!!!!!  PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!"

I have it in my head that one of these days when my children are a little older, they too are going to  appreciate the Mary Poppins books.  

I'm going to snuggle up with them on the couch on many a cold, snowy afternoon, with some hot chocolate, and a Mary Poppins book.
They'll tell my grandchildren, "when I was little my momma used to read these books to me." 

Until then, I will indulge my love of children's literature all by myself.










Friday, September 23, 2011

Leaving on a Jet Plane

This time next week (Sep 30th, 2011) I will be seeing Roger off to yet another life changing adventure.

His flight to Morocco leaves early Friday afternoon.
He will be there for 10 days.

I'm nervous.

I am having flash backs to when he went to Germany for 2 weeks, leaving me behind while pregnant with Paul during the first trimester.


If anyone knows ANYTHING about pregnancy they know that the first trimester is FULL of hormonal changes and....... vomiting.  I was reduced to a puddle of vomit and tears the whole time he was gone.
It was AWFUL. 

Although I am not pregnant this time around I still have that horrid FEAR of the WHAT IF?
WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM?
I tell him "be careful bud because if you die I have no source of income," to kind of laugh away my nervousness.


I also have the "OH MAN" shoulder shrug because here I am, yet again, left at home with the kids while he gets to have all of these grand adventures.

I LOVE TO TRAVEL!!!

I keep telling myself, "Jess, you're time will come!"

It's hard to watch someone live out your life ambitions (seminary, working in a church and traveling)  while you are wiping a preschoolers butt and helping a kindergartener with their homework while  burning cooking dinner and folding the laundry.

I try to find the positive.
I am viewing this as God teaching me patience and humility.
I kinda feel like I have been in a cloister these past 6 years, praying, fasting and working.
I shall emerge one of these days a changed person with two wonderful children to be proud of!

And then I will TRAVEL!!!


Sunday, September 18, 2011

Summer in Kentucky

Don't ya just love those end of summer days in Kentucky!
The sun is shining, the leaves are turning, the cool breeze is blowing and the excitement of fall fills your heart.

I'm always a bit leery of change when it comes to the weather. Which is really strange since I have lived in the great state of Kentucky my whole life.   The common saying around here is "If ya don't like the weather just wait a while."  
You'll wake up to a rainy cold day and by noon the sun is shinning brightly at 75 degrees. 
It's always best to keep a pair of shorts, a rain jacket and a sweat shirt handy at all times.

I tend to get a good dose of depression right there at the beginning of fall.
The dark mornings and early sunsets along with the cold wet days gets the best of me.

Roger and I decided that this weekend was going to be spent soaking up the last bit of this glorious Kentucky Summer.

So on friday we drove the kiddos down to the grandparents (a 4 hour drive round trip) and left them there!

On Saturday morning I woke up bright and early to a rainy cloudy day and a VERY quiet house.
I had no clue what to do with myself.
So I headed to the fitness center to work out.
I NEVER get to get up in the morning to exercise. It's always late in the afternoon when I am COMPLETELY drained from the day, so that was quite lovely to get to do that!

After a shower, some lunch and snuggle time/reading time, Roger and I headed to Bernheim Forest for a short 2 mile hike.

bridge to a 75 foot drop off/look out






We ended up hiking around the ridge of the hill which was STUNNING this time of year.
Lots of colors starting to show through the green.



On the drive back to the main gate I yelled "STOP"
I saw this beautiful little field and just HAD to pop a squat in it's beauty. 






While there we found this lovely bench under a GLORIOUS tree.


"Rog, I want to build a house right here and live forever!"

On the way back into town we remembered that a convent was close by.
Being the nerdy religious freaks that we are, we decided we just HAD to stop by for a quick peek.


someone else got the prime parking. We were hoping to get Jesus to bless our car too.
The Sisters of Charity of Nazareth's convent was stunning.


The beauty took my breath away.



This is a garden pathway leading to the cemetery that is lined with the stations of the cross.

one of the stations
 Roger and I have always been fascinated with old cemeteries. It seems as if a lot of our dates take place in them. As a mater of fact, on our honeymoon we visited an old cemetery in Charleston, SC. There is something so calming to me about walking amongst the dead.


On the convent grounds we came across this little room.  I have no clue what it is but I'm hoping some day soon we can find out.

 And of course we introduced ourselves to one of the sisters and were let into one of the buildings to snoop around a bit.
look at that staircase



 As we were pulling out of the parking lot we heard on the radio that the Kentucky Bourbon Festival was going on in downtown Bardstown, Ky so we decided "HEY LET's Go!!!"

We hurried on down the bourbon trail to small town America for a good ol' fashioned festival.

Heaven Hill's warehouse of bourbon


Bardstown, Ky

wouldn't be a festival without the bikers!


Roger and I grabbed some burgers, popped a squat under a shade tree and enjoyed some major people watching and good ol' country music! 



After dinner we headed out to our friend Tyler's homestead. He had been working all day clearing brush and needed to burn it.    which meant...... BONFIRE!!


Roger and Tyler ended up having to run into town for a few things so I was left to "man the fire" and make sure "the house didn't burn down."

It was a tad bit creepy until I became distracted with the brightness of the stars.




What a quante way to end our last weekend of summer!!

I guess now that fall is coming I best be washing my feet and putting me on some good warm shoes.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

I'm married to a goof ball

I'm really missing Roger at the moment.
I wish I had a nice conversation with him to look forward to this evening.
He's in class.
We barely see each other through out the week but the time that we do have together is spent like giddy school kids.
Conversations with that man are always full of laughter.
We both morph into stand up comics trying to get the biggest laugh from the other.

I love being married to such a goof ball!

He has me chuckling all of the time.

When we were dating he used to pretend, while we were walking down the side walk, that he had run into something. He would smack into something in such a way that it seemed as if he had done it on accident. He would then hold his head in agony.  I would fall over laughing.  he would do this in front of a big group of people so at least one person would say "oh my gosh are you alright?" 
 It was our big joke!

12 years later the man still has me laughing.
Man alive, he even had me laughing while I was curled up in  agony on a hospital bed with appendicitis thinking I was going to DIE.

This weekend I have planned a mini vacation for Roger and I.
The kids are headed to the grandparents until Sunday afternoon while Roger and I enjoy some much needed time together.  We're planning on hiking, caving, sipping wine and pretty much spending the whole weekend being complete goof balls!! 



.  

  

Paul's Prayer

Tuesday morning I had a very proud momma moment.
As I was helping Paul get dressed for school he asked me "Mom, after I get dressed will I have enough time to pray before heading to school?"

The kids are both well aware that every morning I have a quiet time to pray, read the Bible and journal.
Most mornings Anna joins me with her small new testament, her own "journal" and the sweetest little prayers.  I adore that time in the morning!  She climbs up beside me declaring "mom, this is our quiet time. Now get out your Bible!" 

"Yeah Paul. You should have a few minutes to pray before we have to head to school."

Paul -"Ok!!!  I think I'll say the Father's prayer!"

I stepped out of the room. Peeking around the corner I watched as my 6 year old son knelt in the early morning hours, saying the Our FAther.

Several minutes later, when it was time to go to school, he was still praying.
He was very animated in his praying and his voice was reaching shouting level with excitement.

"Amen" -Paul

Later that afternoon, after dinner and homework, Paul said to me "Mom can we go ahead and start getting ready for bed? I want to make sure I get plenty of sleep. I have such a better day at school when I have gotten plenty of sleep."

When your kids are really really little you work so hard to teach them kindness, love and respect through your own actions in the way in which you care for them, laugh with them, cry with them and discipline them. In the early stages it is hard to tell if what you are doing is actually clicking in their little heads.

At 6 years of age Mr Paul Calvin is such a caring, kind heart, respectable little guy.  I look at him with excitement and think "he is MY son!"

On days when I think that I must be the most awful parent in the world, I will look back on that morning, pull myself up out of the muck of parental frustration and smile.



Monday, September 12, 2011


I am having one of THOSE mondays.
A monday in which it seems as if the whole world is crashing down on my shoulders and all I want to do is run away.

There is no doubt that I have an immense amount of responsibly trying to manage two small children, a house and a husband.  But so does everyone else.
My main problem this morning is lack of sleep.
I am exhausted.
Who's fault is that?
MINE
I stayed up until midnight last night trying to soak in ever ounce of me time.
My body was aching from the day and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch ALONE in a quite house.
I am now paying for the midnight me time with complete and total exhaustion.
I have so many things that need getting done today along with taking care of Anna.

The only problem is that when I am this tired I become so overwhelmed with the smallest of tasks that it begins to feel as if there is no way out.  I retreat into my depressed, anxious state and begin feeling sorry for myself that I am stuck here alone with the kids.
I start getting mad that I have had to make so many sacrifices in this role as wife and mother.
Resentments that are not usually there begin to appear and I become angry at this whole situation.


This morning it took Anna walking up to me, giving me a hug and asking what was wrong, for me to snap out of my "poor me" pity party.
I've talked to enough stay at home mothers to know that these feelings that pop up within me are not unusual.  
It comes with the job. 
 There are just going to be times that the, what I call, demons, get the best of ya.    
The hardest part of being a SAHM is not the child rearing, though that can be INCREDIBLY tough on certain days, it is the lack of respect from the outside world, the loneliness, and the loss of voice.

My biggest demon is not lack of respect or support, I feel that I am surrounded by a wonderful supportive group of people that love and care for me.  My demon that I fight each day is the loss of voice.
I sometimes feel all people see when they look at me is THE MOM and Wife when I am so much more than that.

They hardly ever see the girl with a BA in psychology with two years experience working in the mental health field.
Or
The girl who is pursuing a Master of Divinity in hopes of one day working as a hospital chaplain and/or a pastoral counselor in a clinic.

It's just that I don't really get much of an opportunity to do anything other than the wife and mom role so I feel like a BIG part of myself is constantly pushed off into the back ground.  Like I have packed up THAT SELF into boxes and one day, when the kids are older, I'll unpack them.

I don't like that feeling.

That's my major frustration.  My major demon that I fight.
I have plenty of self worth and I am surrounded by supportive people but I don't really have anything to channel the other aspects of myself into.

I've thought a lot about doing some volunteer work around town but with two little ones and a husband in school when am i going to find the TIME.
It's just not realistic at the moment.



I do so love being able to be MOM and WIFE but I do so miss the other parts of ME.

That part of me yearns to shine through.


Thursday, September 8, 2011

A very long blog about nothing at all and everything in particular

I read a book a few years back called the Happiness Project.
At that particular point in my life I was far from happy.
In fact, I was miserable.
There were many factors that went into my state of unhappiness including the fact that I had two VERY small children to tend to but that wasn't the only thing.

I still on occasion get a bought of depression. I'm pretty sure that is a normal thing to suffer through those unexplainable rough times. I would be pretty worried about myself if I were REALLY happy all of the time and I am pretty sure I would annoy the heck out of the people around me.

Being a psychology major I am very attune to the rhythms of my life, my day.
I try my best to keep myself balanced with exercise, eating right, not taking on too much at once, allowing myself some quiet time through out the day and making sure my priorities stay where I believe they should be.

My husband does a wonderful job at helping me keep this balance.
He is my in-house therapist.
We have had many late night talks around the kitchen table about things that I guess "normal" people don't seem to care about.
I for some reason am always searching for the deeper meaning behind things.

I think I think too much.

There are days when I have so much on my plate I want to explode and those are the days that I have to fall back on my massive bag of coping skills that I have acquired through the years.

With the weather like it has been and the fact that Mr Roger is in seminary, leaving me alone to fight off my own demons, I have been opening the coping bag a lot lately.

I am a major journal person. 
I love carrying my mole skin journal with me at all times to jot down funny things that happen, anxieties that I am feeling and little ideas that pop into my head.
There have been many days that I have been so frustrated or depressed that I have found myself journalling my way out of the deep dark hole.
There is something so freeing about getting everything out on paper.
Reading it back gives me the opportunity to see it through a different eye.

Another coping skill that I have acquired is the fitness center.
I have always suffered from anxiety. Ever since I was little I have been fighting off this demon.
I didn't really know what it was until I was in college.
That last year my anxiety got REALLY bad.
So bad that I was having several attacks a day.
I had a lot on my plate...... I was working part time, had a toddler and was in my last year of college.
I went to see a therapist who helped me see what was going on with my body and how to keep my anxiety in check with a combination of thinking skills, exercise and diet.
I HAVE to go to the gym at least 3 times a week or I go CRAZY.
No seriously.
I go NUTS.
Ask any close friend. 
The night before I had my pacemaker replaced I was so stressed out that I started doing jumping jacks in the middle of our friends' living room as that sat saying "jess, are you ok?"
The cardio helps soothe my tension.
Sometimes I go more than 3 times a week if I am having a rough week.
I have learned to listen to my body and I am more able to pick up on the signs that I am getting ready to have an attack.


Anyway, back to the book.
The book is a memoir of this woman attempting to make herself happier my changing little things in her daily life.
It is a very interesting read.
One of the things that she mentions is "accomplishing a nagging task."
You know those tasks that are always on the back of our minds and we think "gosh I don't want to do that but it has to be done" and all we do is think about it and NEVER actually do it?
Well, that is one major thing that I got from the book that I continue to use.
When I have a nagging task I DO IT.
I suffer through the initial starting and I DO IT.
Now I know I sound completely psycho but listen to me, it is SO INVIGORATING to be doing a nagging task and get it accomplished.

This afternoon I decided to do the dreaded clothes change over.
You know, changing out the kids summer clothes for their winter clothes.
I always dread starting it but once I start the process I have SO MUCH fun.
I have taken on the less is best philosophy with life so I don't really have a LOT of clothes for the kids or myself.  I keep it simple.  A couple of jeans, a couple of shirts...... and so on.

I'm TRYING to teach my husband this!!

It makes going through the clothes a lot easier and picking out clothes to wear so much more simple.
Plus I am far from a pack rat.   That's my husband.  The man wants to keep EVERYTHING.
I have to sneak into his stuff and throw the junk away.
LESS IS BEST Roger.  Less is BEST.

So, I am feeling pretty good!
However, I am feeling like a complete NUTT job for typing out this whole long blog just to inform you that I cleaned out the kids chest of drawers and that I am very excited about it. 
Crap, I have lost my mind.
I blame it on the fact that Roger has been gone so much and I am lacking some intellectual conversation.
No one else in this house seems to want to talk theology with me.

Anna and Paul just want to talk about how she is a ninja princess and he is a dragon fly.

oh crap I forgot  I'm suppose to be cooking dinner.

 I didn't burn it yet!!!
YAY!!!

Here is a clip to reward you for reading to the bottom of this random blog
It is of me and may dad during the Father-Daughter dance at the wedding reception.
craziness









Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Today was a DOOZY

Wew Boy
What
Day.
Man oh man today was a doozy.

First of all the weather is like REALLY getting me down.
All I want to do is sit on the couch with a bowl of oatmeal and snuggle.

Anna on the other hand wants to go go go go go.

She is my active child.
Paul has always been content to sit and play for hours and hours at home.
But Anna, nope, a totally different temperament.
That child has got to be going somewhere and doing something at ALL TIMES.

This morning was NONSTOP.
I wont go into the mommy craziness that goes on with two little ones but you get the picture.
One mom.  Two children.
Yep

I had to take off and put on Paul's shoes like a MILLION times this morning because he was "having a itchy foot."
I kept my calm but OH MY GOSH CHILD you are going to be late for school.

While I was taking a shower after I managed to get Paul and Roger off to school, Anna decided she wanted to explore the inside of the toilet which meant that she just HAD to take the back lid off.  Which resulted in a wet, naked, shampooed up me trying to catch the back of the toilet before it hit the floor and smashed.  (I saved it by the way!)

Then she decided to squeeze ALL OF THE TOOTH PASTE into the sink.
"why did you do that?"

Anna NEEDED to get out of the house, run off some steam, so we went for a walk in the cold wet rain.
Not something I really wanted to do but I ended up having fun

After the walk she insisted that we go to chick-fil-a to play and have coffee.
I just wanted to sit down so I agreed. 

I was thinking COFFEE!!

All was perfectly well at chick-fil-a until Anna decided the play area was "a mess."
At which point she opened an UNGODLY amount of those little purel wipes and began scrubbing down the ENTIRE play area.  Once she finished that she decided to tackle the tables.

I packed up and left once she started THAT little cleaning job.

Once in the car she asked to go play at the mall.
The mall has a play area that she LOVES but I just HATE malls.
Malls make me want to vomit.
But the play area is a nice place to go on a rainy day for a little one to run off some steam.
so we went.

While in the play area it seemed as if all the 2 and 3 year olds in Hardin County were ALL having the super hyper active symptoms of this rainy cold weather that little miss Anna was having. 
They were ALL running around in circles SCREAMING.  
Anna just joined right in.
As I looked around at all the mothers I was like "boy do these people look tired."  
Then I noticed myself. 
My VERY tired self with my pony tail hair, old blue jeans and a wrinkled up t-shirt. 
"Man life with a 3 year old is TOUGH."
All the moms just sat there starring into space, including me.

Before heading home I decided to run by a consignment shop that I saw on ring rd beside the coffee shop.
I LOVE me some consignment!

Anna immediately disappeared into the clothing racks.
I didn't worry too much because I could hear her giggling and the clomping of her rain boots.
Next thing I knew Anna was standing beside me wearing one of those lingerie slips over her clothes "Look mommy. I found a pretty dress!!!!"

OH MY GOSH

As I was checking out (I found a really nice 6 dollar shirt) I looked down to find Anna in these big ol' red high heels.
"Anna what are you doing?"
She took the high heels off and placed them on the counter.
"I am buying these beautiful shoes!"

After a little bit of parental guidance she finally went and got her rain boots that she had HID in the store .
A quick lunch and a nap later, we were waiting in the pick up line to get the big Kindergartener.
I still can't believe I am actually to that point in my life that I am waiting in a pick up line for a child, MY child.  
CRAZY

I feel like a little girl playing house.
An exhausted little girl playing house.

ps:
Ou labor day weekend was wonderful
Roger and I giggled all day long while the kids played and played and played.
So glad I got to marry my best friend!!  He makes this thing called life so wonderful!
daddy teaching the kids how to make scones

geting the dough ready


paul wanted to learn what would happen if you mixed certain colors so Roger got out the water and food coloring to teach him