Friday, September 23, 2011

Leaving on a Jet Plane

This time next week (Sep 30th, 2011) I will be seeing Roger off to yet another life changing adventure.

His flight to Morocco leaves early Friday afternoon.
He will be there for 10 days.

I'm nervous.

I am having flash backs to when he went to Germany for 2 weeks, leaving me behind while pregnant with Paul during the first trimester.

If anyone knows ANYTHING about pregnancy they know that the first trimester is FULL of hormonal changes and....... vomiting.  I was reduced to a puddle of vomit and tears the whole time he was gone.
It was AWFUL. 

Although I am not pregnant this time around I still have that horrid FEAR of the WHAT IF?
I tell him "be careful bud because if you die I have no source of income," to kind of laugh away my nervousness.

I also have the "OH MAN" shoulder shrug because here I am, yet again, left at home with the kids while he gets to have all of these grand adventures.


I keep telling myself, "Jess, you're time will come!"

It's hard to watch someone live out your life ambitions (seminary, working in a church and traveling)  while you are wiping a preschoolers butt and helping a kindergartener with their homework while  burning cooking dinner and folding the laundry.

I try to find the positive.
I am viewing this as God teaching me patience and humility.
I kinda feel like I have been in a cloister these past 6 years, praying, fasting and working.
I shall emerge one of these days a changed person with two wonderful children to be proud of!

And then I will TRAVEL!!!

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