Thursday, May 28, 2009


A song by one of my favorite bands, The Weepies.  The Simple Life.  It is pretty much our anthem. 
Can i get up in the morning
Put the kettle on
Make us some coffee, say "hey" to the sun...
Is it enough to write a song and sing it to the birds?
They'd hear just the tune
Not understand my love for words
But you would hear me and know

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

I dreamed you first
But not so real
And everyday since I've found you
Such moments we steal
Like little thieves, we rub our hands
We hold our hearts between them.
But will you hear me and know?

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

Move on, move on
Time is accelerating.
Drive on all night
Traffic lights and one-ways.
Move on, move on
Parking violations waiting
Turn off the car, breathe the air
Let's stay here.

I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time
To know our neighbors all by name
And every star at night.
We'll weave our days together like waves
And particles of light.

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

tempted to pick the wildflowers

Today  I was trying my best to have dinner done before Roger got home from work. I wanted to be able to enjoy the night by crashing together so I wanted to get the whole eating/cleaning up process finished early.  When you have two kids the eating/cleaning up processes never seems to end.  While I was in the middle of loading the dishwasher I heard a scream and laughter followed. "Mom, Anna is playing in the toilet."  I ran into the bathroom to find Anna giggling, her arm all the way in the toilet like she was reaching for a long lost toy in the hole, and Paul standing there pants down holding his little one.  "Oh man."  I couldn't help but laugh and say "ha ha Anna is playing in the toilet."  Then I realized I was the Mother in the scenario and should take action fast since Anna was lifting her foot up as if she had decided to crawl on in.  

After cleaning up the drama I had no time left before Roger got home from work.  Too bad.  Sad face. He ended up watching the kids while I attempted to make dinner.  I finally gave up when after chopping up fresh produce for 20 min that I had forgotten to chop up the onion.  That's when he stepped in to finish while I wrangled the crazies.

Eating dinner has become a challenge. Anna is constantly crawling under the table to get stuck, scream for help and proceed again into the unknown.  Paul is always in need of more of this more of that or I HATE this meal mode.  Roger and I are always starting conversations that end in "I was trying to tell you're Dad something. Oh, well, I guess we'll talk when they go to bed." I yearn to sit with a meal, not rushed, not getting up every five seconds. Just slowly eating with a glass of white wine. 

After dinner I needed to get the heck away from Anna.  I'm just being truthful.  She was driving me nuts. I went for a 3 mile hike through a farm that has been opened up to the public to walk on. It was relaxing (what the hell am I saying my legs are killing me) and revived my soul. I enjoyed listening to the crickets, observing the big puffy marshmallows in the sky, taking deep breaths of honeysuckle and talking myself out of picking the beautiful wildflowers that lined the path.

When I got home Roger, Paul and I sat on the front porch swing (after I washed up and put on my PJ's) and read a Homily aloud that a Monk had written at Gesthemani. The last two days we have done this before bed and both find it relaxing. I guess it is kinda like our family complines. I enjoy reading out loud. It makes me feel like we are all sharing in the experience of being transformed. It makes for good conversation and personal meditation as well. I can see how one can become addicted to reading homilies. I feel as if that is the road that we are on. I must admit that I am enjoying the road and hope we continue on it. 

Now, off to bed so that if the Lord pleases I will be blessed to enjoy another beautiful day. But maybe tomorrow I will go ahead and pick the darn wildflowers.  Man, they are just beautiful!!!  

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

God, music and a lovely sunset

(side note...I have added some of the psalters music to the site for you to hear)

What a great end to the day!!!  We drove to the city, met Justin and walked to the park across the street to listen to a band called TheillogicalSpoon.  Check them out.  Absolutly amazing lyrics. The music transformers the soul!!! 

Anyway, some people from the house church that our friends Amanda and Justin are a part of (Communality) had a little picnic in the park and the band played. They were originally going to have it at their house but so many people were interested in coming that they thought "hey, lets have it at the park since our house isn't big enough to have all these people."  Ended up being a GREAT idea.

We all first gathered in a big circle to pray over the meal of hot dogs, BBq and chips. Then we gathered around and listened to good music, singing in unison, some of us swaying, while the kids drew with chalk and played on the playground together.  

I personally loved the way the lyrics spoke to me. It was as if they took all the feelings I have throughout the day while I am with the kids, reading a special book, praying scripture, talking with my husband, sitting alone on the porch and wrote them into a song. It was lovely siting in the park, watching the sun set and kids play, being surrounded by like minded folks (yay I'm not alone in my happiness that people like to call hippy and I refer to as non commercialize?Americanized Christianity) enjoying great music with meaning.

Anna and Paul had a great time as well. Paul made new friends "hey mom, can I play Frisbee with spiderman?"  (there was a little boy who came dressed as spider man) and Anna danced all night.  That child LOVED the music.  She smiled, laughed and danced the whole time.  We couldn't get her to eat her bottle. She wanted to dance instead.

I'm happy!!  happy that there are people out there that are enjoying the journey of life like we are. Christians that have the peace from God.  Because we all know that worrying over things gets us no where. God is following us around saying "lay your worries on me."  Sadly, many ignore him and want to prove that they can carry all that weight. The truth is, we can't. Have faith!!!  Give it to God!!  It troubles me when those who claim to have faith fret over things as money, politics, social status.......  Don't make me whip out the verse about the birds. 

Faith isn't a convenience thing.  Ya only have it when there is nothing else left. It is a way of life. A way of life that is not carefree but worry free.  Have faith so that the unexplainable peace that God bestows upon those who trust fully in him will be placed upon you.  Ok, so  I have to say it..."Don't worry, be happy."

I love the saying by Dr. Landon "The journey is the destination!"  So often people are trying to accomplish that one thing to obtain happiness. A better something and I will be happy. No, take it all with the peace and happiness of Christ. While scrubbing that toilet sing praise to the Lord "I got the Joy joy joy joy down in my heart WHERE down in my heart WHERE down in my heart."  Stop thinking "man I can't wait until this house is clean so I can enjoy the rest of my day.  Start enjoying your day NOW.  Take the NOW and enjoy it.  Tomorrow may never come.

here's some pictures of our evening!! 

                                             Getting some food!       
                              The little ones had a great time banging on the instruments!

            Justin must have said something profound because Rog looks deep in thought. Oh wait                   Rog always looks deep in thought.

                                                Making the park pretty with chalk!

                                            The sign says "Another Kentucky is Possible."

Making Art.  Everyone was invited to spray paint on a sign. I think we all got high on the fumes.

                           making some lovely music for us!  Notice the upside down flag.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Pregnancy and feet

So, yesterday we packed up the kids and headed into the big city (Ha Ha). I was on a mission to get me some Chacos.  Those lovely hiking sandals that are potentially a mom's best friend during the hot sticky months.

We arrived at our destination, walked in and I announce to the store "I am here to get some Chacos."  With a lovely smile on of the men walked me over to the heavenly area in which the coveted sandal is kept. "Aaah yes. What size are you??"  I proudly announced "I am a 9 kind sir"  Ok, so I didn't say kind sir. I just added that for theatrics.  To make this blog a bit more interesting.  He acted surprised at the size and asked to measure my foot. So I handed him my not so weird right foot and said "here, I'll let you measure the right 'cause the left will scare ya."

Turns out that I have a 7 1/2 foot.  WHAT?!?!?!  That's crazy.  All my shoes are a size 9.  I quickly responded "did my foot shrink?  Or did the woman at the New Balance store measure me wrong?"  He then asked if I was pregnant at the time I bought my tennis shoes. I thought and remembered that I actually was several months pregnant with Anna at the time. He then informed me that pregnant woman's feet flatten out because of the extra weight they are carrying resulting in a long foot and a bigger size shoe.  The arch that was once there becomes minimal.  Then he said "That is amazing that your arch has just sprung right back."  

I was in shock. I had never heard such a thing, "I guess that explains why my teva flip flops seem big and my new balance shoes don't feel just right."  He said "HA HA. Yeah you need to get ya some new shoes so you don't hurt your feet and your back." 

Ok, so the end of the story. 

I ended up getting a size 8 but they didn't have the color that I wanted. I LOVE the color brown and I didn't want to just get a color since these sandals are an investment (we plan on going on a lot of outdoor adventures this year and the coming years). So, I had them special order me the brown chacos. They should be to me in no more than 7 days.  I am excited!!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

yesterday, today, tomorrow

Have I mentioned that Anna is teething. Why is it that she always gets two HUGE teeth in at the same time??  It is complete torture for all involved. My head seriously hurts and my nerves are getting to the "ok, take her back" stage. I love the child but her teething is like none I have ever seen.

It seems like every single time she teethes she gets a double ear infection. She just sits and cries for at least an hour. I guess I'll have to march her back to the doctor. I wish I could tell (other than with the screaming) when she has an ear infection. I need one of those thingy ma bobs and a hand book entitled This is An Ear Infection and This is Not. I hate having to make an appointment, get the kids packed up, drive 40 min to the nearest clinic that accepts medicaid and wait in the waiting room FOREVER to be told "nope, no ear infection but she sure is getting some HUGE teeth. Do you have some motrin and some orajel??  Good Good.  
Ok, well maybe try putting her little toys in the freeezer.  Yeah, good good."  
THANK YOU!!  Maybe next time I'll snatch the thiny ma bob from the docs pocket when she's not looking "run paul run.  mamma's lost her mind. oh, grab that diaper bag."
Any who.  Today I took Anna to her first reading group. She has been showing an interest in other babies and books so I figured what the hey, I'll take her, she is almost one (May 21). I find it hilarious the parents that take their teny tiny babies to reading group. It's like "seriously, join a moms group or something. That baby has no clue what is going on." Lucky me, there were older babies there. Anna was the youngest. (go on laugh) She sat in her stroller laughing, clapping, and smiling. She had this "I can't believe there are more people like me in the world," expression on her face. Adorable!!  Paul took charge and made us a craft.  He is getting pretty darn good at gluing. I didn't even have to help at all. He did it all by himself.  YAY PAUL!!!
I'm currently reading a book written by Kathleen Norriss called The CLoister Walk. It is a memoir of her extended stay at a Trappist Monastery.  I am greatly enjoying it (when I get a chance to read it). She is a great author and so reflective in her writing. She is actually a benediction oblate for the trappist as well. Very interesting women!!   Very insightful book!!  a Must read. 

The last two days have been tiring but pleasant. Roger and I have been getting up at 6am to have some moments of lectio continua of the scripture, quite reflection, and prayer journalling before the kids get up. We have FINALLY realized that mornings are a better time to spend alone with The ONE rather than afternoons or evenings. As Christians we each need to make a point in spending some time alone with the One. I was reading a book the other day that mentioned how "our interactions with others reflect the condition of our spiritual states and will either help or hinder people in their walks with God." So, here's my plug, spend some time each day listening. Put down that "latest fad" devotional book. Lay aside any desire to "learn a bit more" from the scripture so you can be the latest greatest Bible knower person. And read the scriptures appreciating the story and the fact that God is capable of speak to you through that ancient text. After all, we do say it is the LIVING word. Most importantly, LISTEN. How can we hear God when we aren't listening??  When we are too busy doing "christian things." (devotional books, bible study groups, outreach, preparing sermons, VBS prep) and not taking moments of quite how can we expect to hear what God wants to tell us.  It's like the two women in the Gospel of Luke--Martha and Mary. Martha was cleaning up after the meal that they just had with Jesus. She was getting aggravated at her sister Mary who was sitting at his feet listening to every word. "Lazy women. Jesus is here and she isn't helping me work."  Jesus got on to the women for working and complaining about Mary and said "Martha. Martha. You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her." I also imagine him saying "LISTEN. I am here with you LISTEN."  And Martha responding with "in just a second Lord. Let me finish putting there dishes away.  Maybe you can insert something into that sentence.  "Just a sec Lord. I'm working on my devotional book.  Just a sec Lord. I'm trying to study this passage of scripture so I can KNOW more."  It is an evil little trap isn't it. 
Ok, the end of the rant.

 Even though I am tired because my body is still getting used to going to bed early and rising early, I feel that it is a great way to start the day. Especially since Anna is driving me completely nutts at the moment. Roger and I toyed around with the idea of teaching Paul to pray some of the hours. What if he grew up thinking that every household runs like a monastery??  That would be wild. ;)   Hummmm.  Maybe we'll cut it down to just 3 prayers a day.  I can't imagine waking the kids at 3am for prayer. No matter what we do we have decided to raise him with the knowledge of ancient traditions that we have been taught to adore.  I'm interested in seeing what kind of man he will become. I must say, forming a person is RATHER fun!!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

life of a "my husband is in class all the time" wife

First of all I am missing my husband like crazy. It is the end of the semester for both of us and he especially is cramming everything he should have done months ago into one week.  Humm, that sounds typical.  I of corse am at the top of my game.  It also helps that I am only taking one class.  When will I graduate and be able to practice, oh let's say 10 YEARS.  Not really, but MAN ALIVE is it going to take forever. Plus I have to do the supervised training.  When am I going to be able to do that.  I'm completely excited about testing my counseling skills on the innocent but seriously, when am I, with two children and a husband that insists on taking an ungodly amount of classes, going to get the chance to do said thing?

Back to the ungodly amount of classes statement.  To be fair he has to take that many hours or he is going to be working on his MA for a LONG LONG time.  Who knew it took so long to get through seminary.  Seriously, who knew??  and why in the h*** didn't you tell me this.  :)

Other than being informed that my husband not only is seeking a MA but insists of going on to get his PhD, life has been sweet.  I completely support the PhD dream but I'm just trying to figure out where my degree fits in to that scenario. Rog insists that we can both go to school fulltime when the kids are in school but I'm thinking that might not work.  But who knows.  Maybe we'll both get into a good program in la la land university.  Just trying to keep it real. But to be honest I think he would be more than willing to let me finish my MA before he starts in on a PhD program.  I think :/   

Tomorrow we are planting flowers and our garden. Hopefully.  I am going to ask Roger to teach me how to work the lawn mower so I can be in charge of mowing the grass.  As of now he is in charge and well, it never gets done.  To be fair he works full time and goes to school full time.  I have no problem mowing the lawn.  I can do it while Anna is napping.  I do however have a problem with having a hayfield in my front yard.  It drives me nutts.  I'm a neat freak and that yard is part of my "need to clean" space.

Alright enough of that.  I was just a bit lonely and trying not to be tempted by the new Greys Anatomy.  I stopped watching the show when the story line got a little weird but I am tempted to watch the wedding of Meredith and oh what's his name, that hot "look at my puppy eyes I'm so humble and patient"  male doctor.  Man, he sure is fun to look at isn't he.  :)  you know he is.   

Ps: I went to the monastery tuesday! Got to go to Thomas Merton's hermitage.  And Father Michael took me on a private tour of the "monks only" section.  I'll have to write a blog about.  It was a GREAT day.   

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Thomas Merton's journal entry

Here is a journal entry from the late Thomas Merton, a monk that lived his last days as a hermit. I adore this man.  His journal entries crack me up and move me at the same time.  

Yesterday Father Cellarer lent me the Jeep. I did not ask for it, he just lent it to me out of the goodness of his heart, so that I would be able to go over on the far side of the knobs. I had never driven a car before... Yesterday I took the Jeep and started off gaily all by myself in the woods. It has been raining heavily. All the roads were deep in mud. It took me some time to discover the front-wheel drive. I skidded into the ditches and got out again, I went through creeks, I got stuck in the mud, I bumped into trees and once, when I was on the main road, I stalled trying to get out of the front-wheel drive and ended up sideways in the middle of the road with a car coming down the hill straight at me. Thank heaven I am still alive. At the moment I didn't seem to care if I lived or died. I drove the Jeep madly into the forest in a happy, rosy fog of confusion and delight. We romped over trestles and I said, "O Mary, I love you," as I went splashing through puddles a foot deep, rushing madly into the underbrush and back out again.
            Finally I got the thing back to the monastery covered with mud from stern to stern. I stood in choir at Vespers dizzy with the thought, "I have been driving a Jeep."

Thomas Merton.
Entering the Silence, Journals Volume 1. Jonathan Montaldo, editor (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997): 387.

Thought for the Day 

Father Cellarer just made me a sign that I must never, never, under any circumstances, take the Jeep out again.
Entering the Silence: 388.