The past two yrs have been pure hell with my pacemaker but I have decided this year will be the year that I fall in love with it. Hopefully we have all the kinks worked out and the settings perfect and the meds tweaked just right. For the past couple of months or so I have felt better than I EVER have. I seriously have no clue how I was even able to function before all of the pacemaker and med adjustments.
You should ask Roger how many times he had to catch me in mid pass out.
"Roger I think I am going . . . to .. . . . ".
I even taught Paul to dial 911 and told him that my phone would always be in my back pocket.
So incredibly glad that seems to be left in 2012!
Roger has decided to take on 2 more jobs that give him the opportunity to get outside of the church walls and minister to those families within our community who do not have a church home. He is going to be the on-call minister at the funeral home down the street and the on-call chaplain twice a week at the local hospital. Although this means that I am forced to step it up even more as a wife and mother, I am thourally enjoying watching from the sidelines. Because, as you all know, I am going to seminary in the hopes of one day becoming a Chaplain.
Last Monday was Roger's first on-call day at the hospital. It ended up being one heck of a first day. At 5am his pager went off. He was called in to minister to a grieving mother and father. Their 2month old baby was in cardiac arrest. Roger spent the whole morning with the family, praying with them, talking with them about funeral arrangements, and sitting with them as they enjoyed the last moments with their precious son's body. Roger spoke of the mother changing the baby's diaper for the last time and what a privilege it was for him to be allowed into such a sacred space.
This is what I want to do. Isn't that weird? This is why I am going to seminary.
I want to be able to bring the presence of Christ into a hospital room like Roger was able to do.
I still find it strange that I desire to go into hospital Chaplaincy. I guess that is why I am so excited about watching from the side lines as Roger does this. I guess I'm nervous about whether or not I have a strong enough faith to walk into a situation like the one I mentioned above. I've heard the horror stories of chaplaincy. Apparently the first yr of residency is really hard; you see a LOT of stuff. A fellow seminary student told me of the worst on-call experience of her life and how she was under so much emotional stress that she vomited in the bathroom before heading home.
That's what I am a little bit worried about.
I'm worried that I am being a naive when I say that I will be able to handle the emotional demands of such a career.
But I feel strongly called to the ministry of hospital chaplaincy and I don't believe God would have called me to a ministery if he didn't feel that I was capable of it. Would He?
Class starts back the end of this month. I'm excited!
It took me all semester to get back in the swing of being a full time student. I had been away from it for five years. Five years of crawling around on the floor with my children. Five years of play dates and kitting circles and reading groups and toilet training and . . . It was weird to sit in a class room, listen to a lecture, be in a library without children clinging to my leg.
But I'm ready to start full time semester #2. I enjoyed so much the research and writing that seminary brought into my life. I would get giddy in the morning once the kids were off to school and Roger was off to work, as I headed up to my little office with my cup of coffee. It was divine to sit typing as the sun poured in through the window. so dreamy! It made all those years of stay at home momhood all worth it!
Now, mind you, not every day was dreamy. I had my fair share of "HOLY SHIT WHAT IN THE HELL AM I DOING IN SEMINARY" moments. But I made it through. And it felt so good when I emailed in my final paper.
Also, that kids LOVED that all three of us were going to school. Anna even offered to pack my lunch and set out my clothes!
I'm not sure how to end this blog. I have plenty of other things to write and tell you about but I am tired and the dinner is cooking on the stove.