Saturday, September 26, 2009

Saturdays with Children

Wrote this part prior to Paul waking up:
It is a cool, rainy fall day. I am sitting here in my kitchen with the window open, watching Anna eat breakfast. The sound of the rain is so soothing. I feel that God new I needed a lazy Saturday full of books, movies, card games and front porch sitting. So, he sent the rain!!

This morning Roger and I woke up around 7am. I couldn't get back to sleep so I crept down stairs to make coffee for the two of us. While Roger was showering I sat on the front porch, sipping coffee and reading scripture. I was mesmerized by the rain and ended up sitting on the porch for an hour reading and listening. It will go down as one of those moments. A moment of peace. A moment that I truly felt the ultimate presence. And the lack of children!

Now I am sitting here all showered and spruced up, watching Anna eating cheerios and I feel fantastic.  Paul isn't up yet and I am going to let him sleep. Today I have declared shall be a sleep as long as you please day. He needs his sleep anyway. The poor boy has a viral infection in and hasn't been feeling very well as all. Plus as soon as he gets up I have two children to take care of instead of one.

Roger is at the church for a "work day."  A family at the church declared it a "work day" in order to get some church members together to spruce up the building, sort through old junk and make some repairs. I hope they finish early or he doesn't stay the whole time so we can enjoy this day together. It seems like we are never at the house at the same time anymore. There is always something that needs doing. Be it groceries, doctors appointments, class, a midnight diaper run, a hospital visit, a child that demands to go to the park, something always comes up.  And for some reason in each scenario I am stick with two screaming children.

This I wrote after Paul woke up:
While I was in the middle of typing this Paul woke up screaming "While I was sleeping my night night pants came off and jumped into the floor.  AHHHH  I wanted to sleep in my night night pants but now it is day time AAAAAAHHH."  Once we got that settled Paul and I decided "PAJAMA DAY!"  I put new pj's on him and put some pj's on anna.  They are both being adorable here in the kitchen in their PJ's.  Ok, so I lied, they are actually sitting here randomly screaming about something. Paul- "AAAHHH my tongue hurts AAAHH."  Anna - "AAAAAHHH this this this this aaaaaaah."  Every time they let out a shriek I feel my head imploding. WHERE IS ROGER?!?!?!  Oh, yeah he is at the church cleaning. Why can't I go to the church and clean. I would much rather do that than sit here and listen to the screaming. IT NEVER STOPS. I fix one catastrophe and then another one takes place, one after another.  I finally just give up and let them scream because there is really nothing I can do.  I wish my relaxing morning could last all day. Now I am sweating because the screaming is really getting horrible. Roger is so lucky that he doesn't have to deal with this EVER. (the mornings and late afternoons are the worst but I figure that they are tired in both cases)

Oh, well, maybe we'll get a kids movie at the library. Which brings me to the topic of "when will I ever again get to sit ALONE, cuddled in a blanket and watch a movie of my choosing?"  OR maybe Roger will magically APPEAR and I can go somewhere for the remainder of the day.  If you see a random person lying in her pj's in a book store, sipping coffee on the couch by the fireplace THAT'S ME.  I want to have a relaxing day at home but realize that the children from HELL (and I say that in a loving way) will never allow me that. So, I will take up residents at the local book store!!

Have a GREAT saturday ya'll!!!! 

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Story Book

Let me just start out by saying WHERE IS THE FALL WEATHER??  I am sitting here in the living room with the fan on and the windows open, dripping in sweat. Explain this to me. I am not one to complain about warm weather but I am ready for it to cool off.

Ok, now, on to what I was inspired to write about. The cuteness of my little family. Let me first set up the story. Paul was running around the house with one of those scary horse heads on a stick that some toy maker made to inspire children to play "look at me I'm a jockey." They scare me. Just look at them. They are simply horse heads on sticks. Strange. Anyway, Roger said "you know what a person is called that rides a horse in a race? A Jockey!"  

Fast forward to the end of the evening.   I am standing in the bathroom washing my face as I over hear Roger putting Paul to bed. "Do you know what a person that works at the library is called? A librarian. Do you know what a person that works at the hospital is called? A Doctor. Do you know what a person that rides a horse is called? A jockey."  Then he gets to "do you know what a person that works at a church is called?"  There was a small pause and Paul yells out in excitement "DADDY!!!!"   Roger and Paul both giggled, "I love you son!"  "I love you too Dad."   

I just thought that was so incredibly precious. Over hearing it made my heart smile. It is funny to think how far Roger and I have come. I had to stop in the middle of washing my face to reflect. I met him in the 4th grade, we started dating at 15, got married at 20, graduated college together, had two children together and bought a house together.  Who would have thought that the little boy I had a massive crush on in the 4th grade, the one with crazy hair, crazy clothes and crazy facial expressions, would one day be tucking in our son into bed. Sometimes, we do end up with a story book life!

A picture of Roger and Paul during his senior year of college. Paul loved to sit with Roger while he was typing papers! 

Monday, September 7, 2009

John and Shelbie

The past couple of weeks have not lacked in the drama. Our pastor left, Roger and I both started back to graduate school, Paul and Anna have reached the crazy stage that many have told me about and my 17 year old brother got married. It has been one of those "need to breath, must remember to breath" kinda two weeks. I must say that if it wasn't for that natural peace that I receive daily from the good Lord through prayer and meditation, I would be in a ditch some where pulling my hair out. 'Hey, who's that girl sitting there in the ditch?  Is she pulling her hair out?"  

Let me just go ahead and talk about what has been on my mind the most. My 17 year old brother, John.  I got a call from my mother last weekend informing me that John was engaged. No surprise, ok, a little bit of a surprise since they hadn't been dating very long. I mean, even though Roger and I KNEW we wanted to get married after dating 6months we didn't actually get engaged until we had dated about 3 years. So, I was like, well I guess they know what they want and don't want to wait.  I understand.  

On Thursday after I had just dropped Paul off for school, placed Anna down for a nap and was preparing a nice cup of tea, my mother called in a frantic state "you're brother is getting married TODAY."  "Where?"  "At the court house."   Needless to say I busted out laughing and tried to calm her by explaining that you had to be at least 18.  That's when she explained that both of the parents had already signed the papers because John and his girlfriend said 
they would wait a while.  I guess a while meant a week.  I don't know. I was confused.  I immediately called my minister who also happens to be my husband!

Shelbie and John agreed to wait until Friday so Roger could drive down to marry them and family could be there.  They ended up having a precious wedding at a beautiful creek!! Both wore jeans. Shelbie wore a gorgeous white flowing top with a flower band in her hair and John wore a white dress shirt over a dark blue t-shirt. Both were barefoot. After the ceremony we all went back to my parent's house for some cake.  I believe it turned out very nicely and I'm happy that they got to have such a nice, peaceful wedding.  
I believe everyone shares some fear, excitement and a peace about this marriage. We're fearful because it was so fast.  John and Shelbie were led to one another and immediately jumped into marriage. My parents, Shelbie's parents and Roger and I all have one thing in common. We met that special someone and knew instantly "I'm going to marry him/her"  Even though we waited and waited and waited and waited we did finally marry that person. John and Shelbie thought "why wait. let's get married." They have done what we all thought of doing at some point so that gives us excitement for them both.  I remember crying to Roger about wanting to get married before we graduated high school but we ended up waiting, going through pre-marital class and getting married our sophomore year of college. I remember how big of a deal it was getting married in college. I got married 9 days after my 20th birthday. Our parents were freaking out. "they'll never finish college."   Ps: we FINISHED!! 

We all also share a since of peace about the marriage.  Shelbie and John both decided they wanted to do this, who are we to stop them. They truly feel called to one another, want to live in a godly way and have decided to no longer burn in lust. I accept that. I am also at peace that they have an amazing support group surrounding them.  Marriage is work. Sometimes work is fun and sometimes it's not. You need people around to lean on, to learn from, during the good and the bad.  I feel at peace that they both have two wonderful examples of a godly marriage. It is important to have that support. 

So, here I sit thinking about my 17 year old brother John, the fact that he is a husband now and I pray. I don't have specifics, I just pray. I know tomorrow is going to be hard on them. Both have their first day back to their senior year of high school as a married couple. They will arrive to their first class feeling a bit excited, but a bit out of place. They have grown up over the weekend. They have changed. I remember that feeling. That feeling of not quite fitting in. That feeling of responsibility that everyone else around me lacked. That feeling of not being understood. That feeling of "YES I'M MARRIED.  QUIT ASKING ME QUESTIONS!." 

Tomorrow, the next couple of weeks and the next year are going to be hard. Fun but hard. All us married people know that that first year is the rough one. Getting to know each other as husband and wife is challenging. After all the excitement of "getting married" calms, you find yourself in the mist of plain old life. Having to adjust to knowing each others life rhythm, spiritual rhythm and quarks is challenging. I just pray. That's all I can do. Pray.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Stress Test of '09

This morning we got up super early and headed into the city far way.  Far far away. I slept while Roger drove and was amazed to find the sun shinning when we arrived at our destination. "This is a cruel punishment Roger. Just cruel. Why so early?"  

After circling around for a little bit, laughing at our misfortune and our need to pee we finally made it to the Jewish Hospital. "YAY I'm so excited! Maybe I'll meet a Jewish doctor."  Well, I didn't meet a Jewish doctor just one that seemed annoyed that he had to monitor a chick doing a stress test.  WE called Him Dr. Xylophone because we couldn't understand a world he said and he had a REALLY REALLY long name that started with a X. 

Here's a pic of the entering into the clinic.

We were hoping to take a few more pictures of the stress test. Like one of me actually on the treadmill with the crazy thing wrapped around my head and the elephant looking mask that clamped my nose shut, forcing me to breath from a small tube. But the nurses seemed in need of some coffee and the Doctor just plum hated his life. So, we snuck this one while they were out getting me a battery for some sort of hook up thing a ma jig.
This is just a picture of me acting out what I might look like when the stress test is over.
After the test we had to rush across the way to another hospital to see ANOTHER doctor. "YAY hospital hoping is F-U-N!!!"  I am a bad patient and I thoroughly  enjoy spinning around in the Doctors stool before they come in. First of all, spinning is great fun. It's something you never grow out of. Second, I enjoy watching the doctor try to scoot up to the table only to realize that they have to spin the stool down. The whole time making grunting sounds and saying something like "man, how many spins."
AFter the spinning, if any of you decide to do this, you must quickly jump up on the exam table and look all innocent. It is great!!!  I throw the "Hey, Look at me. I would never mess up your stool" look.  Works like a charm.  And have no fear people. They have to knock before coming in. So, if you are in the middle of a spin you'll have plenty of time to jump up and give the innocent look.  PS: I do this to Paul and Anna's Doctors as well. I'm an addict.
I have a problem. When I get bored I snoop. Look what I found though. A year's supply of tissue! I was so excited but Roger caught me filling up the backpack and assured me that our insurance would not in fact pay for it.
The next grand adventure was getting the echo (an ultra sound for your heart). I love echos!!  I just have this fascination with looking at the inside of my body. A part of me would love to be able to hold my heart in my hands as the Doctor explains every detail to me. But since I know there is no way under the sun that that can ever happen I take advantage of resources that are put in front of me. I sat at the desk "Explain this to me!  In great detail."   
So, my new doctor, whom I just met today explained EVERYTHING to me!!!  It was the first day meeting her (she's a SHE!  A female cardiologist. EXCITING!!!!) but I can already tell she is going to be great!  She truthfully answered each of my questions and explained things to me in a "not dumbed down for the patient" way. She understood that I have been doing some research and teaching myself little things about the heart and desperately wanted to learn. 

Ok, now, on to what she said. Here's a list
- I did AWESOME on the stress test and she can't believe I went so long with nothing major being detected on the test.
- My heart looks VERY BEAUTIFUL. Actually pretty Amazing for my condition.
- Over the years I will need to be checked each year still just to make sure the arteries don't begin to narrow from the scar tissue that is present. But the majority of that happens during adolescents.  When the heart is growing.
- There are no signs that the muscle is wearing out but if there ever is they have plenty of meds they can put me on and keep adding 

Then I asked the question. "What if non of those medicines work? Then what"  She responded "Then we would put you on the transplant list."  She followed it up with "I am not telling this to scare you."  I said "I know. I just want you to be truthful with me and not try to sugar things up."   Then she went on to explain that she doesn't see that happening in my future. That I have done an excellent job at keeping my heart healthy and the surgery that was performed at 3 months was absolutely beautiful. The surgeon did an excellent job.  Then she told me to keep up the exercise, the eating healthy and the rest will work out beautifully. 

I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPPPPY!!!!!!  Roger and I skipped out of the office (I was saying prayers of thanks to God) and we went to a brew pub to eat a BIG unhealthy Bison burger and have a sampler of their beers.  

I feel so blessed!  So happy. So calm. So proud. So relieved. Happy tears feel so nice sometimes. I shall go enjoy them.