I have been blessed with two children. Getting pregnant was not a a hard thing for me. It just happened. But after having my second child I was informed that I would not be able to have any more children. I had to make the hard decision to have a my tubes cut. It has been miserable. I have cried at least once a month about it. To not be able to have the choice of having another child has been horrible. When everyone else around me is getting pregnant with third children I am stuck at home in tears screaming "I'm just 25 GOD WHY?"
I have felt guilty for even feeling this way. here I am with two children and my friend is unable to even conceive one. how selfish of me? How horrible am I? But in her blog she wrote about how not being able to have a child at any age, whether you already have children or not, is miserable. About how alone you feel. That's what it is. I feel so alone. It is something that I can't really talk to anyone about because they always say "but you have been blessed with two beautiful children. One of each." Yes, I understand that but I can not ever get pregnant ever again. I have been castrated. IT is extremely lonely. I feel so alone but so does my friend. Maybe I am not alone after all.