Saturday, May 19, 2012

Meeting Turtleman at Guntown Mountain

This morning when I was abruptly woken up by two children jumping on my stomach, I had no intention of going anywhere.

Roger and I both agreed that this would be the weekend that we spent lounging around the house.

For months our weekends have been packed and in the near future it seems as if our weekends are packed full.  

Today was going to be the day that we did NOTHING.  

I had big plans!  

Plans of sitting on the porch swing knitting until my butt and neck hurt.

Plans of lounging in the grass reading until my eyes began to shut.

Plans of taking a long nap with the bedroom windows open.  (i love that spring breeze)

At 10:30am I started to get a bit antsy.
Antsy for adventure.
"Roger, it has been so long since we have done a random road trip. I want to take a random road trip.  Like a really random, somewhat cheesy, Kentucky road trip!"

We loaded up the family station wagon (yes, we have a station wagon) and headed to the Dollar Tree where we bought us some classic American Road tripping snacks.

Then we headed to Guntown Mountain! 

I'll be honest with you. I wasn't too keen on taking the chair lift up to the top. 
The thing was OLD and the men running it seemed nice but well, you know, a little too chill, if you know what I mean.

I tried to be a good sport by riding the chair lift since that is how you get to Guntown Mountain, but I'm telling you, I prayed the ENTIRE ride up.  I just KNEW we were going to end up on Good Morning America as the family who died when the chair lift at Guntown Mountain malfunctioned. 

When we reached the top it was just as I expected.... SUPER CHEESY and incredibly backwoods.
"Oh my GOSH this is so AWESOME!"
Guntown Mountain

chit chatting with the Jailor

wild west funeral

making a deposit at the bank

A quick visit with Jayber Crow at his barber shop

having dessert with Hannah Coulter

 At Guntown Mountain there are SEVERAL shows that you can attend.
It is included in the price for admission.
The whole town is one big play.

They have the Country Music at the Opera House, the gun show/hanging in the center of town, the stunt show where you learn how to bar fight, and the Can Can Dancers at the Lady Lounge.

Yep, I know what you're thinking.  Is that appropriate for small children?

Well, umm, probably not, but then again, I'm not sure if my children picked up on a lot of that Wild West stuff.  And honestly, if I would have thought through the whole Wild West thing I wouldn't have taken them to Guntown Mountain but I didn't.  I just popped up from my knitting perch on the porch swing and declared that we WOULD go on a hilarious road trip and that Guntown Mountain WOULD be our destination.

the Opera style
When the curtains opened up I just about lost it in a sea of giggles.
The song they were singing was the song that my Pawpaw used to walk around singing.

She REALLY got into this song.

 This creepy dude followed us around all day.
Every time I looked his way he was looking RIGHT BACK AT ME.
So, I snapped his picture to show you all just how creepy this dude is.

So, I KNEW there would be a gun fight in the center of town but I HONESTLY had no clue they were going to actually hang one of the characters.

I was SHOCKED and covered the kids' eyes when they hung the dude.
He was attached to a special harness that made it REALLY look like he was hanging.
Creeped me out.

After the hanging we headed into the Lady Lounge to watch a really cheesy magic show.
It was HILARIOUS on many different levels.
The Lady Lounge

magician with NO personality
When we walked out of the Lady Lounge, back into the center of the wild west town, we were shocked to see a film crew.

I started asking some of the crew what was going on and was informed that Turtleman HIMSELF had decided to film an episode of his hit show The Call of the Wildman at Guntown Mountain.
"Turtle who?"
Go on and google Turtleman.  He has a show on Animal Planet.

The man is WILD.

Seriously, he like for real WILD.  He had me laughing so incredibly hard that I started slapping my knee.

Of course, Roger and I HAD to have a photo with him.

The other 25 people that decided to venture to Guntown Mountain followed suit with the photos.
Some got a little more then  they asked for.

For the record, I would have DIED if he picked me up like that.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching, and being a small part of, the filming of the Animal Planet show, Call of the Wildman.   You'll have to look for us in an upcoming episode.  
I think it will air the first of June.

Turtleman joined in with the Can Can

paul was super excited about Animal Planet filming him

Look what we found on our drive home from Guntown Mountain.


Paul was quick to point out that this wasn't the REAL stonehenge.
He then went on to tell us about the REAL Stonehenge.

Anna was too busy attempting to steel rocks to listen to anything that Paul was saying.

So, here is the story of the Kentucky stonehenge, the short version.
There is this dude who enjoys making artwork with stones so the dude has made his whole yard an art gallery of rocks.

So, being the all American Roadtrippers that we are, we stopped to walk around this dudes yard.

Go on and google it!

yep. that's the ten commandments in stone, in the middle of nowhere

What a grand adventure!

On the way home Anna fell asleep in the back with her fake Dollar Tree nails on, while Roger and I beamed ear to ear about how fun it was to spend a day being absolutely ridiculous. 

"Roger, we got to meet Turtleman at Guntown Mountain!   God REALLY likes me!"

Roger-  "yeah, that's some good theology you got there."


  1. True story - both my parent's worked at Guntown Mountain when they were first married. My dad was one of the musicians and also one of the actors. He said that one time the blanks in his gun didn't fire so he just picked up a rock and threw it at the person he was supposed to be shooting. My mom worked in the store in costume. We tease her and call her a saloon girl, but I don't think she actually ever performed.

    Also I'm totally jealous that you got to meet Turtleman.

  2. Ah! I love it! I'm definitely going to record that on my DVR!

  3. I worked there for that. He kissed me. I wanted to cry.