Friday, May 4, 2012

I thought I was going to die like Elvis

It's almost comical.
I would be laughing more if I weren't in so much pain.

Early this morning, around 5am, the dog asked to go outside.
I sleepily threw on my mud boots, hooked his leash, and stepped onto the back deck.
As I was stepping off of the back deck, into the grass, I stepped wrong, twisting my ankle.
I screamed for Roger, praying that he would hear me in his super sound slumber.

Then I screamed even louder.

He busted through the back door in a state of sleepy confusion.

I was in too much pain to get up from the grass.
I sat in the yard feeling sick.

Then I passed out.

Being that I was the one that passed out, I had no clue that  I had passed out.
Roger, who was walking the dog around the back yard for me, happened to glance my way and see my butt stuck in the air, my face squished in the grass. 
"Jess? Jess?  JESS? JESSICA?"

When I came to I hurriedly hobbled myself to the closest bathroom.
I had to pee REALLY bad.
(morning pee)
While on the toilet I felt faint again.
I sat myself on the bathroom floor and screamed for help.
I started feeling like I was going to vomit.
Like I was going to die.
My face went pale.

Once all the drama of feeling as I were going to die on the bathroom floor, like Elvis, ended, I hobbled back to the bed.
I have no clue what in the heck happened.

Mid hobble, Roger stopped me.
"Hold on a second. You have a slug on the butt of your pajamas."

It's 8am. My neck hurts from passing out.  I have grass stains on my shoulder and the pants of my pajamas.  My ankle is hurting like non other.   

On the bright side, I am grateful that I didn't fall face first in dog poo!
I was pretty darn close.


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