I went to a friend's baby shower yesterday.
It was nice to see some people from college that I haven't been too good about keeping in touch with.
But as I was leaving I made a peculiar observation.
Most all of them do not have children yet..... some aren't even married.......
Not that that in itself is peculiar but let me explain.
When I first walked into the house a friend from college came running up to me. She had just recently gotten married. "Jessica, I get it now. I understand all those stories you would tell me about how hard that first year of marriage is. I used to think I was a really caring person but now that I am married I can see what a bitch I am. Man, I am a bitch. But I am working on it. That first year is a real adjustment."
I thought that was the most christian thing I have heard in a long time ....."I am a bitch but I am working on it." How often do we admit our flaws in such a passionate way and follow it up with "but I am really trying to change?"
The peculiar thing about yesterday was seeing first hand how much you change, as a person, when you get married. You are no longer worrying about yourself only, but you have this whole other person that has entered into your life. This whole other person that you have to adjust to living with.
It is a big adjustment....... at least it was for me and my friend.
Then I got to thinking. "Man, I have had to adjust from only taking care of myself, to learning to live with a husband, to learning to care for two children. I have changed A LOT."
This change, for me, is similar to baptism. I have been dunked in the waters of humility and self sacrifice. I have left my old way of living to become a new being that sees life through a different lens.
I find it appropriate to mention that when you give birth...... there is WATER........ out of the water comes new life. A baby! A new you!
As I stood there looking around the room at those who haven't been through this transformation I couldn't help but see the self I was before.
The self that only had to worry about ME.
What I wanted!
What I needed!
What was best for ME!
I felt a warming in my chest as I left the house. That feeling I have learned is associated with being a mother. That feeling that fills you up when you think to yourself "I need to get home. My children and husband are waiting for me."
I can't explain that feeling. You just have to experience it.
But once you do, you will be transformed!