I'm on the verge of a pitty party. I get this way when I am tired and overwhelmed. I assume most people feel the need to have a pitty party before they have an emotional melt down. No? well, then you're weird.
This morning I sat on my porch swing with a mug of hot tea and my minister. So what does it matter that I am married to my minister. He is still my minister even though he is my husband. I needed ministering to, so my minister husband flipped into minister mode and sat completely quiet in the seat beside me while I complained.
I feel that it is good to just get the complaining out. I don't really need anyone to respond. I just need someone to listen to my rant. And boy oh boy did I rant.
Mainly I am exhausted. I feel over worked at the moment. If I could just have a day to chill out, be alone, not wipe anyone's butt or teach anyone how to "treat others kindly", I think I would be fine. I just don't really see that day.
We have so much stuff to do to get this house sell ready. Paul's birthday is this sunday and I am sad to admit I almost forgot and still have yet to make birthday party plans. It might have to be an august party.
We have an open house on Aug 1.
My brother's wedding is coming up.
Seminary is getting ready to start for Roger which means even more late nights alone with two children.
I am not going to be able to go back to seminary until he is finished......not sure how I feel about that just yet. part of me is ok with not having the extra stress of class and part of me is upset that I am always bending over backwards. I really love going to school. I enjoy learning and getting a break from being a full time mommy.
The kids have been great. They are just kids and kids are exhausting because they are on the go ALL THE TIME and they insist that you watch them while they are on the go ALL THE TIME. "hey mom watch this!" My energy runs low. I dream about how awesome it would be to have family near by to call up and say "hummm, I'm exhausted and Anna is driving me nutts. can they come over and play for an hour while I take a breather?" I just need to move my mawmal to whatever town I am living in. Everyone should have a mawmal!
Life just feels a bit out of sorts at the moment. I guess because it is out of sorts. But really, when has our lives been in sorts. Hummm never. Let me rephrase. I am personally a bit out of sorts at the moment. Life is pretty normal.
I am dreading the yard sale thing. I don't want to. don't make me.
I'm dreading the open house. preparing for an open house makes me want to vomit.
I want to run away to an island and come out when everything is complete. I'm just not a good runner. But I can walk there!!!
I'm just tired and want to enjoy being lazy with a good book and some tea. I would rather not power wash the house, paint the porch, fix the gutters, prepare for a yard sale, make countless trips to the thrift store and pack boxes all while lugging two small children who enjoy complaining about any and everything.
all I am saying is that I better be able to get a peanut butter milkshake when this is all over with and that I am demanding that beautiful daisies be planted in my new yard!