let me set this up for you. Roger is away on a mission trip with the youth this week. I am alone with the kids AND have a big cardiologist appointment.
This morning I got up early to get the kids ready and loaded into the car to drive the 2 hours to the appointment. Oh my. Getting kids up early after having just gotten back to the house from a trip to my parent's to celebrate my brother's graduation was VERY VERY hard. oh my. Then as I was washing my hair I remembered that people were coming to look at the house today while I was gone. OH MY!! So, I rushed around like a crazy person changing trash cans, picking up toys, shoving things under the bed, and brushing my teeth at the same time. All while yelling "eat your breakfast. No, I am not giving you that cereal. eat the cereal you have in your bowl. just deal with the sogginess. DEAL WITH IT."
when I got to the appointment guess who was standing outside the hospital waiting on me? MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!! he had gotten things worked out so that he could stop over while the youth and an adult helper worked at the thrift shop while he came to help me with the kids.
well, during the pacemaker check I was told that i needed to get my pacemaker replaced....FRIDAY and that I needed to hang around in town because it would probably go into energy saving mode and pace me very slow. "you will feel like absolute CRAP" direct quote. I needed to get all the pre-op stuff done.
as of now I am sitting in the mission hotel that the youth are staying in. I am sitting here with both my children while roger goes to help out in the thrift store. As I type this my pacemaker is starting to pace slower. I guess I am officially in energy saving mode. I FEEL LIKE UTTER CRAP. Anna and Paul are jumping on the beds, running around the beds, yelling. I want to say HELP but I am handling this pretty well. I guess. I just don't have enough energy.....literally....to respond in any other way. I'm very thankful to have a husband that can manage things in a calm fashion!!! I'm trying not to break into "oh my gosh" kinda tears.
The surgery is not that big of a deal. I am in and out the same day. I just feel horrible until I get the "can" replaced. That's what my cardiologist said "hey there Jesse. We need to replace your can!" the hard part is when you add two small children and a youth mission trip to the whole thing. We'll work this out. It'll be ok. That's what I keep telling myself but I feel so so bad at the moment. And to think that I have to drive back home with these two children....all by myself.
It really takes a village and I need that village right now.