While I was living in Winchester I was part of a stroller fitness class that really helped get me back into shape after giving birth to little Anna. It is also a wonderful way to meet mommies in the community.
If you aren't able to join a stroller fitness group you can look up simple exercises that you can do with your baby. You can search online, or through a book at your local library, or buy/rent a DVD. It really is a LOT of fun to exercise with the kids and it gives them a great example of good fitness habits.
My favorite exercise was when I would put baby Anna on my knees and do sit ups while talking to her "I'm going to get your nose!"
Trying to do squats with her in my arms was a whole other story.
As a result Anna and Paul LOVE exercising with me! Paul has taken up jogging with me every now and again.
Here is a good little clip that I came across about the program. You can go to the stroller stride link above to find a class near you. OR...... you could start a class!! OR...... you could just do it on your own after you learn some cool mommy/baby exercises!
I know it seems a little extreme at first and funny to see a massive amount of strollers at a park with mommies doing lunges but getting in shape really helps you have more energy to accomplish all your mommy tasks! And exercising with other moms is just completely AWESOME!
On Thursday night Roger and I snuggled up to watch yet another documentary. We LOVE watching documentaries. It is a GREAT way to get some learning into our extremely exhausted brains.
We decided on a documentary about The Lost Boys; a group of over 1,000 boys who fled to Kenya during the massacre in the Sudan. During that time the government was either killing or castrating all young boys that lived in the south (I think I got that right?) so that that specific population would not be able to reproduce. The boys ran into the woods when the soldiers entered their towns and began to slaughter whole villages.
For 5 years the boys walked, some barefoot and naked, with little to no food or water, to seek refuge in Kenya. Along their journey they had to bury many of their friends who died from malnourishment.
The documentary entitled God Grew Tired of Us, (it is on netflix) follows several of the boys in the journey from the Sudan, to Kenya, to America. This story brought so many emotions out in me.
It is NOT a movie that you watch while eating popcorn.
I was first introduced to the word Refugee in high school.
The parents of one of the girls that I played Volleyball with were refugees. They had fled their country of origin during an awful war and were given the opportunity to seek refuge in America. They had to start all over and I do mean ALL OVER. They came with only the cloths on their backs. Their father was a doctor in his country but had to go all the way back through medical school AGAIN when he came to the states. He ended up being one of the doctors that checked on me during my stay in the ICU before I had my pacemaker put in.
In college we had two friends that became Americacorps Workers for the Kentucky Refugee Ministries. Their jobs were to pick up the refugees from the airport, get them housing, drive them to the doctors, help them apply for jobs.......... and many many more things. Every time we got together they would tell heart wrenching stories of poor little families fleeing war while leaving other family members behind.
The thought of fleeing a war, arriving in a new country with only the clothes on my back, unaware of wether or not my family is dead or alive, is so frightening to me. And to think that there are people all over the world going through this turmoil as I type this. Young and Old.
Presently we have a friend who is in Kenya working for Church World Service. Her job is to go from camp to camp, interviewing refugees. She has a blog that she updates frequently about her adventures. Here is a link to Amanda's blog. She has a specific blog about the work that she is doing so look for that.
In September my husband, Roger, will be traveling to Morocco to see first hand the work that is taking place within the refugee ministry there. I'm anxious to hear the stories that he will bring back to share with our congregation. We have talked about me tagging along with him if we manage to sell our house by then. Having two house payments and only one of us getting payed for our work, makes me going on the trip financially CRAZY.
Who knows.....maybe one day I'll end up working with refugees. That is the beauty of my M.Div degree. There are so MANY different types of people I'll be able to be a part of helping!
Often times in the afternoon while Anna naps, Paul and I sit on the couch and have crazy conversations
I wanted to share with you our latest mother-son discussion.
me- "WOW Paul, your foot is getting so big"
Paul- "yeah it is huge. I'm growing!"
me-"can you believe that that foot used to be in my belly?"
Paul- "wow, yeah! now it is too big to fit in your belly" (giggle)
me-"yep! your leg was in my belly" (paul giggled) "Your arm was in my belly" (another Paul giggle) "Your nose was in my belly" (hysterical laugh from Paul) "Even your little butt was in my belly!"
Paul- "WHAT????? My butt was in your belly? That is DISGUSTING."
After that discussion Paul started examining my face
Me-"What are you looking at?"
Paul-"What is that little pit thing between your nose and lips?"
Me- "I'm not sure."
Paul- "Why is that there? What is it used for? What is it called?"
me- "I don't know. I've never really thought about it."
Paul- "hummm, interesting. Maybe it's called a nose pit. YOU HAVE A NOSE PIT!!"
I am a CRAZY journal keeping fool. I ALWAYS have my journal with me to write down funny little things the kids say, inspiring words that pop out of their smart little brains and feelings that I have at any given time (good and bad).
Ever since one of my best friends from elementary school told me that she was pregnant during our Freshman year of high school, I have felt this desire to minister to teen mothers.
In college, just 6 months into our marriage, Roger and I found out that we were going to be parents. Although I wasn't a teen at the time, I was only 20 and SCARED TO DEATH.
Being on a traditional college campus with a big ol' pregnant belly I was able to experience a tiny bit of the reticule that teen mothers go through on a daily biases. The most humiliating one being while I was in the cafeteria waiting in line to eat my dinner.
I was a part of the Alpha Gamma Delta sorority so I was wearing my letter shirt. It was near the end of the school year and i was due in July. So my big ol' belly was showing BIG time. The girls in front of me in line whispered to each other "oh my gosh i can't believe she is wearing her letters and she is pregnant. oh my gosh."
I left my tray, full of food, and went back to my little married apartment and cried.
I also got a lot of flack from one professor in particular. That specific professor kicked me TWICE and humiliated me in-front of the whole class for accidently falling asleep during my third trimester. It was clear to EVERY ONE that he disliked me for being pregnant.
Not to mention the strange looks of those who didn't know me "who is that pregnant girl walking around campus?" Then later "look at that girl bringing a BABY to the LIBRARY. OH MY GOSH"
There has been discussion about starting a Teen MOPS at our church.
I'm am ALL ABOUT THAT!!!
In fact, I am willing to work my little butt off to get it started.
I found this link from another church that offers a Teen MOPS. This video that they made helps explain what this group is and how beneficial it is for the teen mothers in OUR community.
Then I found this video from a teen mother reflecting on her first visit to a church that offered a Teen MOPS program. The audio is a bit messed up but it is worth listening to. It just proves how big of an impacted Teen MOPS has on young mothers.
So what if we start this program at our church and only 2 people show up?
Even if only 2 young moms show up I strongly believe that is worth our time and effort.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tuesday was a very emotional day for me.
While I was making the kids breakfast I heard a big SNAP come from Anna's room. "Roger did you hear that big snap?" A few seconds later Paul stuck his head out the door "umm mom, that big snap you heard, well, umm, I just broke Anna's baby crib."
My heart sank.
Paul was attempting to climb into the baby crib for some reason unknown to me. As he was pulling him self up on the side the bar snapped in two.
At first I thought "no big deal right. we'll just wood clue that sucker back." But on further examination we found that a massive screw was missing and several of the bars were on the verge of coming out of their slots.
It was clearly no longer safe for any child to sleep in.
That morning while in the shower I had a mini break down. Massive tears began to fall and no matter of sucking it up stopped them. I claimed that I was grieving the lose of the precious baby bed. The baby bed that Roger's grandfather fixed up for us when we told him that we were pregnant with our first baby, his first great grandchild. But in truth, I was grieving the lose of the baby stage.
When Anna found out that her baby crib was broken she too let massive crocodile tears fall. I held her close and cried with her. Then Paul heard all the commotion and joined in. They cried for the bed while I cried that they were growing up so fast. "how in the world can they be turning 6 and 3?"
Then this darn song stuck in my head all day long which caused even more tears
I know what you are thinking "give me a break Jess. It's not like they are headed to college or getting married off."
I understand that.
But understand me.
For the past 6 years I have been a stay at home mommy. Every single day I have spent caring for and nurturing two small children. Because caring for two small children so close in age is incredibly demanding of your time, over the years my life has completely shifted to revolve around them. It is weird for me to all of a sudden have time to think about something other than my children. It's weird to not have to be right by their side every second of the day. I sometimes find myself thinking in those quiet times when Paul and Anna are playing so nicely together "does any one need me to do anything for them? anyone at all?"
I have reached, in a sense, that stage of parenthood where I am required to step back and give them a little space to learn and grow. It has been a big adjustment for me.
It has forced me to reevaluate my sense of self. Who am I? besides a mother and a wife. WHO AM I?
This is the point where I am going to admit that I am VERY happy that I opted to give seminary a break until the kids get older and Roger graduates with his M.Div. Although I am sad that next year Paul starts kindergarten and then in 2 years little baby Anna starts, I am excited that another chapter in my life will start. I'll still be the stay at home mommy but I'll be the stay at home mommy that goes to seminary while you are in school!!
Since seminary takes like 5 years, when I actually get my degree and start to work with my M.Div my children will be 11 and 14 years old. And yet ANOTHER chapter starts.
Chapters thus far include..... Chapter 1: married in college with a baby on the way
Chapter 2: married in college WITH a tiny baby
Chapter 3: married in college WITH a toddler
Chapter 4: 3 month hospital bedrest with anna
Chapter 5: full time stay at home mother of two
Anyway, back to the baby crib breaking:
We ended up giving Paul our old full size mattress and Anna got Paul's old toddler bed.
I didn't have the heart to throw the baby crib away "Maybe Amanda Hervey can find something crafty to do with this beautiful bed!" so we put it in the garage just in case.
As we were carrying the baby crib out Roger stopped, looked at me and said "Are you ok?" I completely melted into yet another puddle of tears and snot "People our age are in that transition of either getting married or having their first baby. We are transitioning into our 7th year of marriage, toddler beds and kindergarten. I'm just really sad and feel all alone"
Anna and Paul were very excited to go to bed in their new beds. In fact, they went to bed pretty early that night and were super giddy while brushing their teeth.
The next day, wednesday, I wasn't as emotional about the beds. In fact, I took the kids up to the church (a GREAT windy place on a hill) and flew a kite with them. As I watched Anna and Paul take turns running with the kite in their hands, giggling "the kite is following me mom!" I was at peace.
Paul's preschool is on Spring Break for 2 weeks which means that precious time from 9 to 11:30 every tuesday through friday is gone. That time spent only having to watch a demanding yet loving two year old has been replaced with "anna is taking my toys," and "mom anna bit me again," and "MOM SHE WONT LEAVE ME ALONE."
I admit that I have had a blast not having to get everyone up, fed, dressed and out the door by a certain time. That has been fabulous but far from relaxing.
Paul has been extra clingy this week. He follows me through the house talking a mile a minute. He loves telling funny jokes that he makes up himself so I have had to do a lot of fake laughter.
"he he HA HA HA that's a good one!"
With all the head aches from the screaming children and the constant redirection where I have tried my best to remain very calm ("anna look what you did to your brother. you bit him. he loves you so much and you bit him. now, was that good to do to your brother? go sit in time out.") I have still managed to have a great week with the kids.
That makes me think that maybe JUST MAYBE I was called to be a stay at home mother!!!
Paul and I have had lots of time to talk, snuggle, play super hero and peter pan, and do his new favorite thing........... play BOARD GAMES. The child LOVES board games and honestly I love them too so it works out pretty well. They give me a chance to SIT DOWN and enjoy my TEA!!!!! (guess who, chutes and ladders, candy land, checkers, chess..... he also likes uno)
Anna, with the loss of that precious 2 1/2 hrs spent ALONE with mommy each morning, has turned on her bad kid mode. Bad kid mode for Anna is when she does bad things to get attention. Like bite paul for no reason or run into Paul's room, grab his toys and throw them all over the place. She REALLY loves and needs that time with me all to herself. She is confused as to why Paul is here ALL OF THE TIME and I think she is getting tired of him being here ALL OF THE TIME.
Bless his heart, little Paul is starting to drive me nuts. His personality is a combination of imaginative and emotional. He makes up these elaborate imaginative worlds and gets his feelings hurt when I am distracted with Anna and can't join in.
The balancing act of caring for two people, a house and a husband has been very challenging this week. Every one needs my undivided attention at ALL TIMES.
This morning as I was sitting alone for my quiet Bible/prayer time Paul poked his head in the door "hey mom, I love you!" Then the next thing I knew he had his whole train set at my feet and started putting it together. "Paul, buddy, what are you doing?" he smiled really big and said "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH that I want to be by you all of the time!"
yes, what he did was super sweet and melted my heart so I let him sit there to play but I would be a BIG fake if I didn't admit that it was a little annoying as well.
This week I have completely morphed into humble servant mode from the AM until their PM bedtime. Once the kids were in bed I plopped myself on the couch and stuck my nose into a good library book until I got sleepy.
Sorry husband of mine for ignoring you all week :( Thank you for being such a good husband that you understood and didn't even try to bother me!
This week has taught me that those 2 1/2 hours that I get each day with Anna are precious. I feel like I haven't gotten any time with her this week. I guess that is the nature of the 2nd child?
Because Paul is a clingy child and Anna has that independent personality it is easy to forget about her and her needs of attention as well. Paul THRIVES on attention, undivided attention, where as Anna THRIVES on destroying any and everything she can get her hands on. It is a strange combination to have and deal with on a daily bases.
So, basically I am EXHAUSTED.
I am emotionally and physically drained from tending to the emotional and physical needs of two children all day long.
But that is the nature of my full time mommy job!
And I'll add here that I do feel VERY blessed that we have been able to budget enough for me to stay home to raise my children and that God has gifted me with a somewhat PATIENT personality. But truthfully I AM SOOOOOOO TIRED of the kids following me around where ever I go........
I went upstairs to type out this blog. Their traveling concert followed me upstairs to play music for me while I typed.
