Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mother's Day: Why I have grown to hate it.

How has my mother's day been?   

Well, to be honest, since moving to Elizabethtown I have learned to HATE the day. 

To begin with May is already full of special days for me with my birthday, mine and roger's anniversary, the birth of our daughter. Mother's day just kind of seems like one of those cheesy hallmark days that wants everyone to feel quilted into calling the person that birthed them, or raised them, or birthed and raised them.  

What ever. 

But the reason why I have come to hate the day is the hurt that it brings to so many. So many people feel so much pain on this day and that hurts me. 

In the end, ts it worth it? 

Let's face it, some people had shit mothers. This day makes them feel like crap.

Some people have always wanted to be a mother, have YEARNED to be mothers, and for one reason or another have not been able to. This day makes them feel like crap.

And some mothers have had to experience the awful horror of having a child die and are left numb on this day that is suppose to be filled with celebration.  This days makes them feel like crap.

Honestly, the whole thing just sucks.

Every single day I celebrate mother's day. Every single day I wake up thankful for the time that I have with these 2 gifts, knowing that in the blink of an eye I could lose everything.I don't NEED a special day.

This morning Anna was insanely difficult to get ready for church and Paul threw a fit in the middle of church in which he threw his shoe and sock as me.  While this was going on the woman in the pew in front of me was receiving a text message from her brother in-law, a reminder to hug her children tightly. Her brother in-law and sister in-law had just recently lost both of their children in 2 separate tragic accidents and were experiencing their first mother's days with out their young children. 

You see, mother's day just kind of sucks for me. I am filled with grief for those hurting people within my community, and as a hospital chaplain that ache is multiplied. I can't stop thinking of that poor mother who lost her infant daughter, who I held while she cried out to God to save her baby. I was the one that placed that baby in the body bag. I held the mother as she cried at the grave side.  

As we drove the kids to the park today we passed a cemetary in which a young man was placing flowers on a grave. I can only imagine why he was there and what he was doing.

As I look at people's Facebook posts of Mothers Day I feel the urge to type my own little ode to my children and to post a sweet picture of us. But then again, I don't. As I mentioned above, everyday is a Mother's day celebration for me. And I encourage every day to be a mother's day celebration for you.


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