Thursday, November 4, 2010


The recovery process has been so strange.  One second I will feel like I am doing so much better and the next I am bent over vomiting in the handy dandy orange vomit thingy from the hospital, shaking with chills and screaming out in pain.

My diet consists of broth, pudding, jello, ensure, water and poweraid.   All of which I have to force down and then force to stay down.  I'm so tired of the vomiting. 

It is a never ending process through out the day. I take my pain pills, I sleep a little, I wake up feeling like "I'M ALL BETTER NOW!" then I gradually start to feel the nausea coming back, I vomit, then the pain starts to come back, then I take my pain pill............... it goes on and on.

It is like having a really bad flue bug while you are trying to recover from a really bad car accident.

My stomach looks so strange. I have two holes that are bruised and swollen from where they stuck the scopes in. My belly button is unrecognizable with it's new crusty, swollen, bruised look.(they stuck a scope in there as well)  So, I have three golf ball shaped bruises on my stomach.

When I came out of surgery my little brother said "Gosh Jess, did you have an inny or an outy before the surgery because now it is def.  a major inny?"   I scared him by telling him "I had a cute little outy before! why would you ask?"   :)

Each morning seems to be getting a little better.

This morning I got up and, with the help of Roger, got to take a shower. I haven't had a shower since sunday morning...... today is thursday.  I wasn't able to take a shower before because I couldn't hold myself up long enough and every time I stood up I felt like I was going to either vomit or pass out. Plus, I had no desire, until today, to even take a shower. All I wanted to do was sleep.

I didn't realize taking a small organ from my body was going to be so painful.  I don't think my grandmother realizes that either. She doesn't seem to understand why I can't take care of the kids or why I can't eat.  I have to keep telling her and myself that I "had a major abdominal surgery, that I still have an infection in my abdomen and it is going to take a while to heal."

After my shower this morning, Roger put new sheets on the bed, sat out some clean jammies and brought me a glass of poweraid and a bowl of broth.  We have been through quite a bit together......lots of moves., college, several major surgeries, two babies .......... we keep getting closer with each new obstacle that is placed before us.  

I looked at him yesterday while I was in the midst of vomiting and said "sorry about the vow thing. ya know. in sickness and in health. I didn't realize I was going to be the one in sickness all the time and you were going to be the one that was in health.  that is such a bummer."  He just rolled his eyes and told me to hush.  

I love him so much.   I miss my little Paul and Anna.

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