My diet consists of broth, pudding, jello, ensure, water and poweraid. All of which I have to force down and then force to stay down. I'm so tired of the vomiting.
It is a never ending process through out the day. I take my pain pills, I sleep a little, I wake up feeling like "I'M ALL BETTER NOW!" then I gradually start to feel the nausea coming back, I vomit, then the pain starts to come back, then I take my pain pill............... it goes on and on.
It is like having a really bad flue bug while you are trying to recover from a really bad car accident.
My stomach looks so strange. I have two holes that are bruised and swollen from where they stuck the scopes in. My belly button is unrecognizable with it's new crusty, swollen, bruised look.(they stuck a scope in there as well) So, I have three golf ball shaped bruises on my stomach.
When I came out of surgery my little brother said "Gosh Jess, did you have an inny or an outy before the surgery because now it is def. a major inny?" I scared him by telling him "I had a cute little outy before! why would you ask?" :)
Each morning seems to be getting a little better.
This morning I got up and, with the help of Roger, got to take a shower. I haven't had a shower since sunday morning...... today is thursday. I wasn't able to take a shower before because I couldn't hold myself up long enough and every time I stood up I felt like I was going to either vomit or pass out. Plus, I had no desire, until today, to even take a shower. All I wanted to do was sleep.
I didn't realize taking a small organ from my body was going to be so painful. I don't think my grandmother realizes that either. She doesn't seem to understand why I can't take care of the kids or why I can't eat. I have to keep telling her and myself that I "had a major abdominal surgery, that I still have an infection in my abdomen and it is going to take a while to heal."
After my shower this morning, Roger put new sheets on the bed, sat out some clean jammies and brought me a glass of poweraid and a bowl of broth. We have been through quite a bit together......lots of moves., college, several major surgeries, two babies .......... we keep getting closer with each new obstacle that is placed before us.
I looked at him yesterday while I was in the midst of vomiting and said "sorry about the vow thing. ya know. in sickness and in health. I didn't realize I was going to be the one in sickness all the time and you were going to be the one that was in health. that is such a bummer." He just rolled his eyes and told me to hush.
I love him so much. I miss my little Paul and Anna.
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