Sunday, December 6, 2009


Today I blew up. I had an emotional breakdown. These past couple of weeks have been hard. Roger is working hard on school and work while I am trying to hold it together on the home front and work on my own school work. Both of us attempting to attend graduate school while these children are young is nuts. I just reached that boiling point today and threw my hands in the air. "I'm exhausted. I am completely exhausted." 

I took the kids to church, Anna to the nursery, Paul to his children's church. Made sure Roger knew they were there and then explained to him that I needed to go away for a while. I just needed space to breath. Time to center myself. So, where did I go?  Where else but my mom and dad's.  Isn't that where everyone runs to?  They go home.  

The drive down was tearful but nice. I wasn't quite sure what I was crying about other than exhaustion but that hour and 30 min of crying sure helped. Then bashing my head on my parent's table while crying out "I'm exhausted. It's so hard mom. So hard," really helped as well. 

After getting out the frustration and being reassured that parenthood isn't always going to be this hard, I began typing out my last paper for my seminary class. It was so refreshing to actually be able to sit for several hours and work, undisturbed, on my paper. I'm almost finished!!!!  

For dinner mom made homemade broccoli and cheese soup!  mmmmmmmm.  A nice yummy home cooked meal. It was so nice to be able to eat without screaming children. I actually just sat and ate slowly. I didn't have to constantly get up to get something for someone or clean up someone's mess or share my food. 

At around 8:30pm I packed up and headed back to my little family. The kids were already in bed but I woke Paul up to give him  kisses and a good night hug. He had left me a bowl of candy sitting out and had made me a gingerbread house.  What a sweet little boy.  

Tomorrow is another crazy day and the start of yet another crazy week. But I feel that my little break has helped me at least take a breath.   

1 comment:

  1. I don't think you ever outgrow mommy and daddy! I know that's where I run :) And a good cry - even if you don't know WHY you're crying - always helps! Hope you're feeling better! You are such a strong woman! Your blogs and FB posts amaze me, woman! I don't know how you do it :)