We have officially moved out of the old place and into our very own home!! how strange?? I thought is was so cool that today, new years eve, was our move out inspection. Goodbye 08, hello 09!! So, tonight we are CELEBRATING all the many adventures to come!!!
I swear moving is such a pain, but I had no clue, absolutly no clue, how hard it was going to be packing two kiddos and all the toys that come with them. Roger and I have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have moved 6 times. You do the math. NUTTS!! I know. Moving with one child is hard, I'll admit, but moving with two is "I'm hiding in the corner and crying till this move is over" kinda hard. If only we lived close to family. We are seriously like ALONE when it comes to the kids. The grandparents are an hour and a half away.
Roger loves his new job! I'm so excited for him but I am starting to understand the whole "stress" of ministry. First of all, I had no clue that ministers were on call. I thought that was a doctor/nurse thing. Who knew?? So, we are sitting having dinner one minute talking about how we should take a walk because it is a beautiful night and the next Roger is pulling out of the drive to go minister to a soon to be widow. This new life of being married to a full time minister is kinda strange. A part of me is sad to see him rush off in the middle of dinner but another part of me is very understanding and proud. It's not like he's rushing back to the office to finish paper work and by doing so ignoring his family. He's going to comfort a grieving wife who is about to loose her bestfriend of 50 years. I'm so proud of him. What an incredible responsibility he has taken on. I just pray that I will always be as understanding and proud.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Evil Thoughts
I am so stressed out and want to scream. Trying to move with two small children around the holidays is completely driving me crazy. If only I had someone to watch the screaming baby and the anxious toddler life would be a tiny bit easier. How about this, I'll go away to Hawaii for two weeks while someone unpacks and decorates my home. That sounds like a great plan.
I feel the urge to grab the next person, without kids, that says they were "so stressed" during the moving process, by the back of the head and punch them in the nose. I know that sounds so evil and after I do the evil act I will pray for forgiveness but I really want to hit the next person who makes that comment to me.
I feel like my sense of humor has been replaced by evil jessica. I need to run away. Ok, what I really need is help with the kids. How can a person concentrate on ANYTHING with the two of them?? seriously???? They're good kids but kids all the same. They need fed, changed, cuddled, disciplined and their toys and clothes unpacked. All I can say is at least we didn't move into one of those "good investment" houses. A good "fixer-uper is the last thing I need at the moment.
Oh, speaking of "fixer-uper" when we got back from the christmas break we found that our storm door had not been shut properly when we left and had been blown off of the hinges. GREAT!!!! The glass door didn't break..THANK GOD.... but part of the frame around the door (the wood and metal) was all bent to hell. Good news is that Roger took the door off and it seems to be easy to fix. We just need to make a trip to the hardware store.
anyway, both Roger and Paul want dinner so I best go and do a little jig in the kitchen and make a little something something.
I feel the urge to grab the next person, without kids, that says they were "so stressed" during the moving process, by the back of the head and punch them in the nose. I know that sounds so evil and after I do the evil act I will pray for forgiveness but I really want to hit the next person who makes that comment to me.
I feel like my sense of humor has been replaced by evil jessica. I need to run away. Ok, what I really need is help with the kids. How can a person concentrate on ANYTHING with the two of them?? seriously???? They're good kids but kids all the same. They need fed, changed, cuddled, disciplined and their toys and clothes unpacked. All I can say is at least we didn't move into one of those "good investment" houses. A good "fixer-uper is the last thing I need at the moment.
Oh, speaking of "fixer-uper" when we got back from the christmas break we found that our storm door had not been shut properly when we left and had been blown off of the hinges. GREAT!!!! The glass door didn't break..THANK GOD.... but part of the frame around the door (the wood and metal) was all bent to hell. Good news is that Roger took the door off and it seems to be easy to fix. We just need to make a trip to the hardware store.
anyway, both Roger and Paul want dinner so I best go and do a little jig in the kitchen and make a little something something.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Jasper Christmas
We celebrated christmas with Paul and Anna tonight. We made a cake and after dinner had a birthday party for Jesus. I don't want to do the whole Santa thing. I understand people who do but I want christmas to be a more holy sacred time in our family. Anyway, we put some candles on the cake, sang happy birthday to Jesus and let him open up his presents. Tonight when Roger gets back (he's out caroling with the church) we are going to watch a little kids movie about the virgin birth. I'm really excited about getting snuggled up to watch a real christmas movie with my son.
Speaking of the Santa thing. I walked into a book store last week and Santa was there. I prept Paul before we walked by and let him know that Santa wasn't real. I told him that he is kinda like Bob the builder. He is just make believe. So, we continued on and the Santa stood up and did the whole "HO HO HI LITTLE BOY" and waved. Paul looked up and said "you're not real" I was a bit embarrassed but I couldn't help but cackle. When he gets a little older I'll have to explain to him that he can't go around telling people that Santa's not real.
Speaking of the Santa thing. I walked into a book store last week and Santa was there. I prept Paul before we walked by and let him know that Santa wasn't real. I told him that he is kinda like Bob the builder. He is just make believe. So, we continued on and the Santa stood up and did the whole "HO HO HI LITTLE BOY" and waved. Paul looked up and said "you're not real" I was a bit embarrassed but I couldn't help but cackle. When he gets a little older I'll have to explain to him that he can't go around telling people that Santa's not real.
Friday, December 19, 2008
random thoughts
i'm having a me night tonight! I've decided to stay up late, eat junk food and surf the net. Thus far I have eaten two chocolate covered cherries and a cinnamon raison bagel with cream cheese. I wish the cream cheese was flavored strawberry but Roger just got the plain.
I was to excited to what until christmas to give Roger one of his gifts so I made him open it lastnight. He made me open one of my gifts tonight. I LOVE it. It is the Ordinary Radicals book by Shain Claiborne. Roger is trying to corrupt me and bring me over to his side through books. It is working! The more books I read that he suggest the more I understand him and the more in love I fall. I sure did marry a good man!!!
I think I'll go to the kitchen and find something else to eat.
I found some celery. I know. but I LOVE celery and it is so crunchy.
So, my pacemaker has been shocking me off and on for the past week. I stopped counting yesterday at 12. It feels more like a burn in my arm. It doesn't last to long but it can be quite uncomfortable. I have an appointment with my favorite cardiologist in the whole world set up in January. The last time I saw him I mentioned the pacemaker shocking me and he informed me that one of my leads was broken and that the other one didn't look to good. So, I might be having my leads replaced in the near future. That sure does suck. I know pacemakers aren't really that big of a deal anymore but the idea of wires touching my heart FREAKS ME OUT. I've had some BAD surgery experiences. The worst experience was when I woke up in the middle of a heart cath surgery and threw up all over the operating table. It was bad.
With all of these heart surgeries that I am going to have in my life I am beginning to think I should have married a heart surgeon. "Honey, do you think you could replace my lead for me? The darn thing just keeps shocking me."
Tomorrow is Saturday. I love Saturdays. Roger is here to help me with the kids. I wish we could lay in bed and snuggle on weekend days but between Anna needing fed and Paul jumping on me that is totally impossible. How do people have 3 kids? when do they get the time to, well, you know?? That amazes me. By the time the kids are in bed I'm exhausted and Roger is snoring in the living room floor, face down in a book. Needless to say, we're only having two kids. This factory is closed.
we're thinking about being foster parents when anna is 2 years old. I met a lady at communality who takes foster infants and she said there is a high demand for stay at home moms to be foster parents to take care of the babies that are to little to go to daycare. I would love to do that. I would just consider myself a babysitter for a mother or father that is trying to get back on their feet so they can take care of their new infant. We're looking into that. But I don't want to take on another child until anna is a little older. It amazed me that in the foster care system stay at home moms are in high demand.
Alright, it's 12:30am and I think I have stayed up late enough. I have christmas shopping to do tomorrow. booooo
Humm, I think I might do the "Rog, can you feed Paul and Anna this morning while I lay her and rest just a little bit longer" move in the morning. I wonder if he'll let me? He's a good husband and usually lets me lay there as long as I want.
I was to excited to what until christmas to give Roger one of his gifts so I made him open it lastnight. He made me open one of my gifts tonight. I LOVE it. It is the Ordinary Radicals book by Shain Claiborne. Roger is trying to corrupt me and bring me over to his side through books. It is working! The more books I read that he suggest the more I understand him and the more in love I fall. I sure did marry a good man!!!
I think I'll go to the kitchen and find something else to eat.
I found some celery. I know. but I LOVE celery and it is so crunchy.
So, my pacemaker has been shocking me off and on for the past week. I stopped counting yesterday at 12. It feels more like a burn in my arm. It doesn't last to long but it can be quite uncomfortable. I have an appointment with my favorite cardiologist in the whole world set up in January. The last time I saw him I mentioned the pacemaker shocking me and he informed me that one of my leads was broken and that the other one didn't look to good. So, I might be having my leads replaced in the near future. That sure does suck. I know pacemakers aren't really that big of a deal anymore but the idea of wires touching my heart FREAKS ME OUT. I've had some BAD surgery experiences. The worst experience was when I woke up in the middle of a heart cath surgery and threw up all over the operating table. It was bad.
With all of these heart surgeries that I am going to have in my life I am beginning to think I should have married a heart surgeon. "Honey, do you think you could replace my lead for me? The darn thing just keeps shocking me."
Tomorrow is Saturday. I love Saturdays. Roger is here to help me with the kids. I wish we could lay in bed and snuggle on weekend days but between Anna needing fed and Paul jumping on me that is totally impossible. How do people have 3 kids? when do they get the time to, well, you know?? That amazes me. By the time the kids are in bed I'm exhausted and Roger is snoring in the living room floor, face down in a book. Needless to say, we're only having two kids. This factory is closed.
we're thinking about being foster parents when anna is 2 years old. I met a lady at communality who takes foster infants and she said there is a high demand for stay at home moms to be foster parents to take care of the babies that are to little to go to daycare. I would love to do that. I would just consider myself a babysitter for a mother or father that is trying to get back on their feet so they can take care of their new infant. We're looking into that. But I don't want to take on another child until anna is a little older. It amazed me that in the foster care system stay at home moms are in high demand.
Alright, it's 12:30am and I think I have stayed up late enough. I have christmas shopping to do tomorrow. booooo
Humm, I think I might do the "Rog, can you feed Paul and Anna this morning while I lay her and rest just a little bit longer" move in the morning. I wonder if he'll let me? He's a good husband and usually lets me lay there as long as I want.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
screaming child
Anna has been screaming nonstop for the past 5 days. It is starting to drive me absolutely CRAZY. I change her diaper, rock her, and then try to feed her. Nothing helps. The worst part about it is that she wont even eat. Every hour I sit for 30 min trying to get her to eat a bottle. She just throws her head back, clinches her fists and SCREAMS. Then she starts biting at the nipple. I know she is teething but this is nutts. I've tried all the teething meds and tricks and nothing seems to help.
I did manage to get some milk down her yesterday and today after a HORRIBLE fight.
The poor thing also has a reflux problem. If I don't put rice in her milk (told by the pediatrician to put a teaspoon for every ounce) she projectile vomits all of the milk before it even has time to digest. Because of her "little" problem she screams if she is not in a sitting up position. I mean SCREAMS!!! You can hear the agony in her cry. It is horrible. So, laying her down for anything is pretty much impossible unless you don't mind the horrible screams. She spends all day either in a high chair, in my lap, or laying in the floor screaming. I can't get any peace.
Now, my question. Why wont the pediatrician give me any meds for this?? I understand that the Doctor wanted to wait it out and see if she outgrew the problem but it is clear that she hasn't and it is clear that she is in horrible pain. All the doctor tells me is "well, lets try making her milk a little thicker. Let's increase the amount of rice we put in the bottle." COME ON PEOPLE. yes, the rice is helping BUT the poor baby is still hurting sooooo bad. The only difference I can tell with the rice is that when she tries to projectile vomit the milk is too thick to come out all the way and just chokes her a bit and then goes back down. IT STILL BURNS. IT's STILL HAPPENING.
The worst part about this whole thing is that I like Anna's pediatrician as a person. She's such a sweet lady and you can tell that she loves her job and adores baby's. but as a doctor, i don;t really trust her. She doesn't seem to have enough backbone. I ask her questions and then tell her what I am doing about the problem and she just kinda nods her head. I am left thinking "ummmmm ok ANSWER MY QUESTION" I mean for real, I'm just the mom, she's the doctor. I sure as hell didn't go to med school. I just had sex and a baby popped out. I only know so much by the process of elimination.
I think the Doctor doesn't want to step on my toes by saying I'm doing something wrong so she doesn't really say anything when I am doing something that is clearly wrong. But, I NEED her to tell me when I am doing something wrong. This whole thing just stinks.
Any one know of a good pediatrician at the UK pediatric clinic???? I need one that would be willing to knock me over the head when I am doing something wrong but also one that I feel actually CARES and likes their job!!
I did manage to get some milk down her yesterday and today after a HORRIBLE fight.
The poor thing also has a reflux problem. If I don't put rice in her milk (told by the pediatrician to put a teaspoon for every ounce) she projectile vomits all of the milk before it even has time to digest. Because of her "little" problem she screams if she is not in a sitting up position. I mean SCREAMS!!! You can hear the agony in her cry. It is horrible. So, laying her down for anything is pretty much impossible unless you don't mind the horrible screams. She spends all day either in a high chair, in my lap, or laying in the floor screaming. I can't get any peace.
Now, my question. Why wont the pediatrician give me any meds for this?? I understand that the Doctor wanted to wait it out and see if she outgrew the problem but it is clear that she hasn't and it is clear that she is in horrible pain. All the doctor tells me is "well, lets try making her milk a little thicker. Let's increase the amount of rice we put in the bottle." COME ON PEOPLE. yes, the rice is helping BUT the poor baby is still hurting sooooo bad. The only difference I can tell with the rice is that when she tries to projectile vomit the milk is too thick to come out all the way and just chokes her a bit and then goes back down. IT STILL BURNS. IT's STILL HAPPENING.
The worst part about this whole thing is that I like Anna's pediatrician as a person. She's such a sweet lady and you can tell that she loves her job and adores baby's. but as a doctor, i don;t really trust her. She doesn't seem to have enough backbone. I ask her questions and then tell her what I am doing about the problem and she just kinda nods her head. I am left thinking "ummmmm ok ANSWER MY QUESTION" I mean for real, I'm just the mom, she's the doctor. I sure as hell didn't go to med school. I just had sex and a baby popped out. I only know so much by the process of elimination.
I think the Doctor doesn't want to step on my toes by saying I'm doing something wrong so she doesn't really say anything when I am doing something that is clearly wrong. But, I NEED her to tell me when I am doing something wrong. This whole thing just stinks.
Any one know of a good pediatrician at the UK pediatric clinic???? I need one that would be willing to knock me over the head when I am doing something wrong but also one that I feel actually CARES and likes their job!!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
adventures of motherhood
It seems like I have absolutely no time to breath. Once I get finished with one child, the other one needs me. It goes on like this all day long every day. Sunday I was so exhausted that I had to hold back tears during church. All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and cry until I couldn't cry anymore.
Roger has to be at church earlier so I am left at home alone with a toddler and an infant. I rush around like a mad person getting everyone fed, changed, clothed and to church by 9:40am. It is crazy. I know that mothers all over do it but for some reason it just plum wears me out. I never have any time to really care for myself. I guess that is what motherhood is all about. The main sacrifice is neglecting yourself in order to care for your children. I pretty much feel like I look like utter crap every single day. I don't ever get any time to REALLY get dressed. I jump in the shower... jump out...put on a towl...run in and soothe Anna a bit....run back to the room to throw on some undees....check on why Paul is screaming...run back and throw a shirt and pants on....run in and change anna's diaper and feed her....run back to the bathroom to dry my hair....run into the kitchen and put a bowl of cereal out for Paul...run back in the bathroom and throw the hair in a pony tail.....check on why anna is screaming.......run back to the bathroom to brush my teeth....... It goes on and on like that ALL DAY LONG. By the time Roger gets home I want to run away but we have to start dinner. Then clean up dinner. Then feed Anna. Then get Paul a bath. Then get him into bed. Then get Anna to bed. Then I am so tired I go climb in the a hot bath and space out until I start dozing off.
Being a mom is hard work and being a stay at home mom is just completely nutts. I feel blessed that I get to stay home with my kids but sometimes I yearn for a career other than mom. With a 9 to 5 job it is just that, 9 to 5. Being a stay at home mom, my work day starts anywhere between 5am and 7am and ends anywhere between 8:30pm and 10pm. With two kids and one mom (me) there are no lunch breaks, no 15 min breaks and barely any bathroom breaks. Oh, and there are no sick days or vacation. You're sick, who cares, the kids still need to be fed, changed and entertained. Want to go on vacation?? Ok, but you have to take your work with you.
If it sounds like I am complaining it is because I am. As a stay at home mom I feel under appreciated. I hate the looks I get when someone asks where I work. They act as if staying at home to raise my kids is not work. I have had a job outside of the home and I can testify that staying at home with kids is WAY HARDER than it looks but it is WAY MORE SATISFYING. AT the end of the day I am completely worn out but at least it is because I have been taking care of my little family.
All I ask is that the next time you see a mom appreciate her. Whether or not she works at home or works outside the home. Appreciate her. Give her some respect. Show her some kindness.
And heaven forbid moms, quit trying to one up each other. Why can't we all just get together and talk like normal people with things going on in our lives besides our children. And please for the love of everything holy, stop the baby talk. Oh man, the baby talk drives me nutts. And don't ask my 6month old questions. She doesn't understand. If you want to know "why the itty bitty sweety is a wettle fuuuuuzzzy tooooday" just ask me.
Being a mom is hard work and all us moms need to stick together.
Now, on to figure out why Anna is screaming yet AGAIN.
Roger has to be at church earlier so I am left at home alone with a toddler and an infant. I rush around like a mad person getting everyone fed, changed, clothed and to church by 9:40am. It is crazy. I know that mothers all over do it but for some reason it just plum wears me out. I never have any time to really care for myself. I guess that is what motherhood is all about. The main sacrifice is neglecting yourself in order to care for your children. I pretty much feel like I look like utter crap every single day. I don't ever get any time to REALLY get dressed. I jump in the shower... jump out...put on a towl...run in and soothe Anna a bit....run back to the room to throw on some undees....check on why Paul is screaming...run back and throw a shirt and pants on....run in and change anna's diaper and feed her....run back to the bathroom to dry my hair....run into the kitchen and put a bowl of cereal out for Paul...run back in the bathroom and throw the hair in a pony tail.....check on why anna is screaming.......run back to the bathroom to brush my teeth....... It goes on and on like that ALL DAY LONG. By the time Roger gets home I want to run away but we have to start dinner. Then clean up dinner. Then feed Anna. Then get Paul a bath. Then get him into bed. Then get Anna to bed. Then I am so tired I go climb in the a hot bath and space out until I start dozing off.
Being a mom is hard work and being a stay at home mom is just completely nutts. I feel blessed that I get to stay home with my kids but sometimes I yearn for a career other than mom. With a 9 to 5 job it is just that, 9 to 5. Being a stay at home mom, my work day starts anywhere between 5am and 7am and ends anywhere between 8:30pm and 10pm. With two kids and one mom (me) there are no lunch breaks, no 15 min breaks and barely any bathroom breaks. Oh, and there are no sick days or vacation. You're sick, who cares, the kids still need to be fed, changed and entertained. Want to go on vacation?? Ok, but you have to take your work with you.
If it sounds like I am complaining it is because I am. As a stay at home mom I feel under appreciated. I hate the looks I get when someone asks where I work. They act as if staying at home to raise my kids is not work. I have had a job outside of the home and I can testify that staying at home with kids is WAY HARDER than it looks but it is WAY MORE SATISFYING. AT the end of the day I am completely worn out but at least it is because I have been taking care of my little family.
All I ask is that the next time you see a mom appreciate her. Whether or not she works at home or works outside the home. Appreciate her. Give her some respect. Show her some kindness.
And heaven forbid moms, quit trying to one up each other. Why can't we all just get together and talk like normal people with things going on in our lives besides our children. And please for the love of everything holy, stop the baby talk. Oh man, the baby talk drives me nutts. And don't ask my 6month old questions. She doesn't understand. If you want to know "why the itty bitty sweety is a wettle fuuuuuzzzy tooooday" just ask me.
Being a mom is hard work and all us moms need to stick together.
Now, on to figure out why Anna is screaming yet AGAIN.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Things I LOVE about the house
- the MASSIVE front porch
- the BIG back deck
- the beautiful staircase and foyer
- the hardwood floors
- the very DEEP kitchen sink
- that all the bedrooms are upstairs and it feels so cozy and relaxing up there
- being right by the park, the church, the library and paul's school
- having two living rooms (formal and family)
- the door chimes
- the crown molding in the family room
- the bay windows in the living rooms
- the lazy susan cabinet in the kitchen
- my cheep house payment
- the BIG back deck
- the beautiful staircase and foyer
- the hardwood floors
- the very DEEP kitchen sink
- that all the bedrooms are upstairs and it feels so cozy and relaxing up there
- being right by the park, the church, the library and paul's school
- having two living rooms (formal and family)
- the door chimes
- the crown molding in the family room
- the bay windows in the living rooms
- the lazy susan cabinet in the kitchen
- my cheep house payment
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