God, music and a lovely sunset

(side note...I have added some of the psalters music to the site for you to hear)

What a great end to the day!!!  We drove to the city, met Justin and walked to the park across the street to listen to a band called TheillogicalSpoon.  Check them out.  Absolutly amazing lyrics. The music transformers the soul!!! 

Anyway, some people from the house church that our friends Amanda and Justin are a part of (Communality) had a little picnic in the park and the band played. They were originally going to have it at their house but so many people were interested in coming that they thought "hey, lets have it at the park since our house isn't big enough to have all these people."  Ended up being a GREAT idea.

We all first gathered in a big circle to pray over the meal of hot dogs, BBq and chips. Then we gathered around and listened to good music, singing in unison, some of us swaying, while the kids drew with chalk and played on the playground together.  

I personally loved the way the lyrics spoke to me. It was as if they took all the feelings I have throughout the day while I am with the kids, reading a special book, praying scripture, talking with my husband, sitting alone on the porch and wrote them into a song. It was lovely siting in the park, watching the sun set and kids play, being surrounded by like minded folks (yay I'm not alone in my happiness that people like to call hippy and I refer to as non commercialize?Americanized Christianity) enjoying great music with meaning.

Anna and Paul had a great time as well. Paul made new friends "hey mom, can I play Frisbee with spiderman?"  (there was a little boy who came dressed as spider man) and Anna danced all night.  That child LOVED the music.  She smiled, laughed and danced the whole time.  We couldn't get her to eat her bottle. She wanted to dance instead.

I'm happy!!  happy that there are people out there that are enjoying the journey of life like we are. Christians that have the peace from God.  Because we all know that worrying over things gets us no where. God is following us around saying "lay your worries on me."  Sadly, many ignore him and want to prove that they can carry all that weight. The truth is, we can't. Have faith!!!  Give it to God!!  It troubles me when those who claim to have faith fret over things as money, politics, social status.......  Don't make me whip out the verse about the birds. 

Faith isn't a convenience thing.  Ya only have it when there is nothing else left. It is a way of life. A way of life that is not carefree but worry free.  Have faith so that the unexplainable peace that God bestows upon those who trust fully in him will be placed upon you.  Ok, so  I have to say it..."Don't worry, be happy."

I love the saying by Dr. Landon "The journey is the destination!"  So often people are trying to accomplish that one thing to obtain happiness. A better something and I will be happy. No, take it all with the peace and happiness of Christ. While scrubbing that toilet sing praise to the Lord "I got the Joy joy joy joy down in my heart WHERE down in my heart WHERE down in my heart."  Stop thinking "man I can't wait until this house is clean so I can enjoy the rest of my day.  Start enjoying your day NOW.  Take the NOW and enjoy it.  Tomorrow may never come.

here's some pictures of our evening!! 

                                             Getting some food!       
                              The little ones had a great time banging on the instruments!

            Justin must have said something profound because Rog looks deep in thought. Oh wait                   Rog always looks deep in thought.

                                                Making the park pretty with chalk!

                                            The sign says "Another Kentucky is Possible."

Making Art.  Everyone was invited to spray paint on a sign. I think we all got high on the fumes.

                           making some lovely music for us!  Notice the upside down flag.

Pregnancy and feet

So, yesterday we packed up the kids and headed into the big city (Ha Ha). I was on a mission to get me some Chacos.  Those lovely hiking sandals that are potentially a mom's best friend during the hot sticky months.

We arrived at our destination, walked in and I announce to the store "I am here to get some Chacos."  With a lovely smile on of the men walked me over to the heavenly area in which the coveted sandal is kept. "Aaah yes. What size are you??"  I proudly announced "I am a 9 kind sir"  Ok, so I didn't say kind sir. I just added that for theatrics.  To make this blog a bit more interesting.  He acted surprised at the size and asked to measure my foot. So I handed him my not so weird right foot and said "here, I'll let you measure the right 'cause the left will scare ya."

Turns out that I have a 7 1/2 foot.  WHAT?!?!?!  That's crazy.  All my shoes are a size 9.  I quickly responded "did my foot shrink?  Or did the woman at the New Balance store measure me wrong?"  He then asked if I was pregnant at the time I bought my tennis shoes. I thought and remembered that I actually was several months pregnant with Anna at the time. He then informed me that pregnant woman's feet flatten out because of the extra weight they are carrying resulting in a long foot and a bigger size shoe.  The arch that was once there becomes minimal.  Then he said "That is amazing that your arch has just sprung right back."  

I was in shock. I had never heard such a thing, "I guess that explains why my teva flip flops seem big and my new balance shoes don't feel just right."  He said "HA HA. Yeah you need to get ya some new shoes so you don't hurt your feet and your back." 

Ok, so the end of the story. 

I ended up getting a size 8 but they didn't have the color that I wanted. I LOVE the color brown and I didn't want to just get a color since these sandals are an investment (we plan on going on a lot of outdoor adventures this year and the coming years). So, I had them special order me the brown chacos. They should be to me in no more than 7 days.  I am excited!!

   

yesterday, today, tomorrow

Have I mentioned that Anna is teething. Why is it that she always gets two HUGE teeth in at the same time??  It is complete torture for all involved. My head seriously hurts and my nerves are getting to the "ok, take her back" stage. I love the child but her teething is like none I have ever seen.

It seems like every single time she teethes she gets a double ear infection. She just sits and cries for at least an hour. I guess I'll have to march her back to the doctor. I wish I could tell (other than with the screaming) when she has an ear infection. I need one of those thingy ma bobs and a hand book entitled This is An Ear Infection and This is Not. I hate having to make an appointment, get the kids packed up, drive 40 min to the nearest clinic that accepts medicaid and wait in the waiting room FOREVER to be told "nope, no ear infection but she sure is getting some HUGE teeth. Do you have some motrin and some orajel??  Good Good.  

Ok, well maybe try putting her little toys in the freeezer.  Yeah, good good."  

THANK YOU!!  Maybe next time I'll snatch the thiny ma bob from the docs pocket when she's not looking "run paul run.  mamma's lost her mind. oh, grab that diaper bag."

Any who.  Today I took Anna to her first reading group. She has been showing an interest in other babies and books so I figured what the hey, I'll take her, she is almost one (May 21). I find it hilarious the parents that take their teny tiny babies to reading group. It's like "seriously, join a moms group or something. That baby has no clue what is going on." Lucky me, there were older babies there. Anna was the youngest. (go on laugh) She sat in her stroller laughing, clapping, and smiling. She had this "I can't believe there are more people like me in the world," expression on her face. Adorable!!  Paul took charge and made us a craft.  He is getting pretty darn good at gluing. I didn't even have to help at all. He did it all by himself.  YAY PAUL!!!

I'm currently reading a book written by Kathleen Norriss called The CLoister Walk. It is a memoir of her extended stay at a Trappist Monastery.  I am greatly enjoying it (when I get a chance to read it). She is a great author and so reflective in her writing. She is actually a benediction oblate for the trappist as well. Very interesting women!!   Very insightful book!!  a Must read. 

The last two days have been tiring but pleasant. Roger and I have been getting up at 6am to have some moments of lectio continua of the scripture, quite reflection, and prayer journalling before the kids get up. We have FINALLY realized that mornings are a better time to spend alone with The ONE rather than afternoons or evenings. As Christians we each need to make a point in spending some time alone with the One. I was reading a book the other day that mentioned how "our interactions with others reflect the condition of our spiritual states and will either help or hinder people in their walks with God." So, here's my plug, spend some time each day listening. Put down that "latest fad" devotional book. Lay aside any desire to "learn a bit more" from the scripture so you can be the latest greatest Bible knower person. And read the scriptures appreciating the story and the fact that God is capable of speak to you through that ancient text. After all, we do say it is the LIVING word. Most importantly, LISTEN. How can we hear God when we aren't listening??  When we are too busy doing "christian things." (devotional books, bible study groups, outreach, preparing sermons, VBS prep) and not taking moments of quite how can we expect to hear what God wants to tell us.  It's like the two women in the Gospel of Luke--Martha and Mary. Martha was cleaning up after the meal that they just had with Jesus. She was getting aggravated at her sister Mary who was sitting at his feet listening to every word. "Lazy women. Jesus is here and she isn't helping me work."  Jesus got on to the women for working and complaining about Mary and said "Martha. Martha. You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her." I also imagine him saying "LISTEN. I am here with you LISTEN."  And Martha responding with "in just a second Lord. Let me finish putting there dishes away.  Maybe you can insert something into that sentence.  "Just a sec Lord. I'm working on my devotional book.  Just a sec Lord. I'm trying to study this passage of scripture so I can KNOW more."  It is an evil little trap isn't it. 

Ok, the end of the rant.

 Even though I am tired because my body is still getting used to going to bed early and rising early, I feel that it is a great way to start the day. Especially since Anna is driving me completely nutts at the moment. Roger and I toyed around with the idea of teaching Paul to pray some of the hours. What if he grew up thinking that every household runs like a monastery??  That would be wild. ;)   Hummmm.  Maybe we'll cut it down to just 3 prayers a day.  I can't imagine waking the kids at 3am for prayer. No matter what we do we have decided to raise him with the knowledge of ancient traditions that we have been taught to adore.  I'm interested in seeing what kind of man he will become. I must say, forming a person is RATHER fun!!!

  

life of a "my husband is in class all the time" wife

First of all I am missing my husband like crazy. It is the end of the semester for both of us and he especially is cramming everything he should have done months ago into one week.  Humm, that sounds typical.  I of corse am at the top of my game.  It also helps that I am only taking one class.  When will I graduate and be able to practice, oh let's say 10 YEARS.  Not really, but MAN ALIVE is it going to take forever. Plus I have to do the supervised training.  When am I going to be able to do that.  I'm completely excited about testing my counseling skills on the innocent but seriously, when am I, with two children and a husband that insists on taking an ungodly amount of classes, going to get the chance to do said thing?

Back to the ungodly amount of classes statement.  To be fair he has to take that many hours or he is going to be working on his MA for a LONG LONG time.  Who knew it took so long to get through seminary.  Seriously, who knew??  and why in the h*** didn't you tell me this.  :)

Other than being informed that my husband not only is seeking a MA but insists of going on to get his PhD, life has been sweet.  I completely support the PhD dream but I'm just trying to figure out where my degree fits in to that scenario. Rog insists that we can both go to school fulltime when the kids are in school but I'm thinking that might not work.  But who knows.  Maybe we'll both get into a good program in la la land university.  Just trying to keep it real. But to be honest I think he would be more than willing to let me finish my MA before he starts in on a PhD program.  I think :/   

Tomorrow we are planting flowers and our garden. Hopefully.  I am going to ask Roger to teach me how to work the lawn mower so I can be in charge of mowing the grass.  As of now he is in charge and well, it never gets done.  To be fair he works full time and goes to school full time.  I have no problem mowing the lawn.  I can do it while Anna is napping.  I do however have a problem with having a hayfield in my front yard.  It drives me nutts.  I'm a neat freak and that yard is part of my "need to clean" space.

Alright enough of that.  I was just a bit lonely and trying not to be tempted by the new Greys Anatomy.  I stopped watching the show when the story line got a little weird but I am tempted to watch the wedding of Meredith and oh what's his name, that hot "look at my puppy eyes I'm so humble and patient"  male doctor.  Man, he sure is fun to look at isn't he.  :)  you know he is.   

Ps: I went to the monastery tuesday! Got to go to Thomas Merton's hermitage.  And Father Michael took me on a private tour of the "monks only" section.  I'll have to write a blog about.  It was a GREAT day.   

Thomas Merton's journal entry

Here is a journal entry from the late Thomas Merton, a monk that lived his last days as a hermit. I adore this man.  His journal entries crack me up and move me at the same time.  

Yesterday Father Cellarer lent me the Jeep. I did not ask for it, he just lent it to me out of the goodness of his heart, so that I would be able to go over on the far side of the knobs. I had never driven a car before... Yesterday I took the Jeep and started off gaily all by myself in the woods. It has been raining heavily. All the roads were deep in mud. It took me some time to discover the front-wheel drive. I skidded into the ditches and got out again, I went through creeks, I got stuck in the mud, I bumped into trees and once, when I was on the main road, I stalled trying to get out of the front-wheel drive and ended up sideways in the middle of the road with a car coming down the hill straight at me. Thank heaven I am still alive. At the moment I didn't seem to care if I lived or died. I drove the Jeep madly into the forest in a happy, rosy fog of confusion and delight. We romped over trestles and I said, "O Mary, I love you," as I went splashing through puddles a foot deep, rushing madly into the underbrush and back out again.
            Finally I got the thing back to the monastery covered with mud from stern to stern. I stood in choir at Vespers dizzy with the thought, "I have been driving a Jeep."
 
Thomas Merton. Entering the Silence, Journals Volume 1. Jonathan Montaldo, editor (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997): 387.
 


Thought for the Day 

Father Cellarer just made me a sign that I must never, never, under any circumstances, take the Jeep out again.
 
Entering the Silence: 388.

Moments

What a lovely past couple of days it has been. On Tuesday I was starting to get really restless at home with the kids. I wanted to get out, I needed to get out. Not shopping. Not to the park. I needed to see the family. I yearned to go to the farm and enjoy the peacefulness of watching cows chew their cud whilst sitting under a shade tree. I had that need to go back to my childhood through my son.

So, on wednesday, after finding out how busy Roger is was going to be with church and school work  (his God work as we lovingly refer to it) I took advantage of the situation, packed up the kids and headed "home." 

I can't explain to you how refreshing it was for me to walk into mammal's house and be greeted by several of my cousins, two of my uncles and a table full of freshly caught fish. Here's the kicker, it was 4 in the afternoon!! I love the randomness that is my family. Mammal took the kids, poured, me some lemonade and I packed my plate full of her deliousious hush puppies. mmmmmm

After awhile my uncle D and cousin K set out determined to get Papal's old (actually it is VERY new) tractor working so they could bushhog. I sat in anticipation with Paul. He want to ride the tractor soooooo bad. To be honest, I did too. There is just something about tractor rides that makes me all giddy. I love them.

Anyway, they finally got the tractor started, the field bushhogged and then headed back to give us a ride. It was marvelous. I was Paul's little hero. "My mom took me on a tractor ride!!! she rocks!!!" It made me miss my hero, Papal. The last time I rode in the tractor it was with him. As I was riding around all I could think about was how much I would love to have a farm of my own someday (that is the key word, someday. not now.  but someday).  That's when the inner dialogue began. "jess, why not buy a farm?"  "because they're a lot of work."  "But Jess, you like working and enjoy farms." "oh I don't know if I'm ready for something like a farm. Maybe when I reach retiring age." "exactly, that's what I'm talking about."  

I spent the night with my parents and the next day Paul insisted that we get up at 7am to ride his little tractor (a little electric john deer) and play basket ball. Which consists of me trying to get the ball into the basket while he chases me around.  It ended up being a very pleasant morning. My parents live on 5 acres so paul got to run, hop, skip and  drive his tractor where ever he pleased while I sat with Anna reading, sipping some yummy starbucks coffee my Dad made and writing in my journal.   

Later in the afternoon I took the kids to mammal's to play. Mammal watched Anna while I took Paul and two of my little cousins out on the Mule to see the new calfs.  I love this time of year. The farm looks so lush and green, the mamma cows are having their calfs and the middle field of the farm is being tilled for the new season.  When I was little I used to ride my motorcycle, or shall we say the hand-me down family motorcycle, around the farm, through the trees, all day long.  Occasionally stopping to say hi to Papal when he would take a break from the farm work, pull out his folded lawn chair from the back of his truck and sit staring out at the cows while smoking his pipe, chewing his backer and taking long swallows of his water jug, in which mammal had frozen the bottom half for him so it would remain cold throughout the day.  Man, I sure miss that fine soul.

  

After letting Paul try to catch him a calf, getting freaked out that there were so many bulls and getting chased by the psycho cow/chicken watching guard dog, we headed back to mammal's. On the way Paul spotted our old tree house. We stopped. Climbed up the ladder and I proceeded to reminisce once again. When I was little all of us Buckaroos (the grandkids) kept trying, unsuccessfully, to build a tree house. Papal noticed this and decided he would ask, well, force, our uncles to build one for us while he watched over the production. I must say, it is rather spiffy. It has a rather large front porch, an actual screen door and two windows that Papal got from an old bus. When we were little we hauled an old couch up the ladder, (don't ask how we managed to not drop the thing and kill ourselves, it's a God thing) but over the years it has gotten NASTEY and was taken out. Now the tree house is empty but full of memories.   "Paul I could do a lot with this place."  "Yeah mom, a lot!!!"  ***jump** ( he jumps when he's excited)

When we got back to mammal's from the field one of my uncles was there. He has just recently bought a house boat and the last two nights he and his youngest son have slept on it.  It made me so happy to see how happy he was. The last two years have been really rough on him. He went through a not very nice divorce, his two oldest sons (twins) graduated from high school and went to college, and his Father died and left him as president of the Family company. A lot of stuff to deal with all at once.  But, that day he seemed to not only be making it day by day, but ENJOYING the whole processes of living.

Ever since I can remember this specific uncle, the one that I mentioned previously that I have deiced to call D, has been flying kites.  It's funny to look at old family photos or movies and see D in the background flying a kite. Strange??  I don't know.  He's pretty wicked at keeping the thing up in the air. Anyway, he brought his kite to mammal's and tried his best to show me the "family secret" of keeping the thing up in the air and "driving" the kite.  Apparently my great grandfather built this kite string holding contraption in which there is a crank, to crank the string in fast, and a wheel with a finger holder so that you can let the string out fast when ever you get a gush of air.  I had no clue there was so much science that went into kite flying. I guess that's why the only place I tend to be able to fly a kite is at the beach. (who knew)   

I had a great time, me, paul, anna, my mammal and my uncle D all standing outside flying a kite.  Once again, it made me miss my papal, but it felt good that his childlike spirt was still in all of us. And I am going to try my best to pass on that childlike spirit to my son and daughter. Maybe even rubbing a little off on others on the way.

I'm at home now sitting in my kitchen listening to the sounds of the washing machine and the dishwasher while paul and anna take their, oh so lovely, afternoon naps. I can't help but think about God's grace and love when I am having moments like this. Moments that give me the chance to catch my breath, to realize how blessed I am. To realize that life is full of these precious moments and not so precious moments, that we often times take for granted and then wish we had back.

Lord, help me to fully experience life within the moments. Whether it be a slow walk to the library in which I take the time to listen to the birds singing, notice the wind blowing through my hair and enjoy the feeling of little Paul holding my hand or the times when the kids are discontent with everything and I have no more energy to sustain one more climb up the stairs. Help me to enjoy each moment because within each moment is life. And I am being to adore it!  

mother's addicted to internet

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/13/mothers.internet.addiction/

an interesting article about mom's and their addictions to the internet.  you know I love me some studies!!!