June

It has been hard for me to slow down. A million things fill my brain and I find myself restless. Summer is always a busy time for us, lots of traveling and church work. But there are times that we find ourselves in the peace and quite of home with one another, and those moments usually give me the rest that I need to continue on in our busy schedule of parenthood and ministry. However, I have been having trouble turning off on those days of leisure. The tension inside of me has been unbearable. I've taken to running more often, but even that has not seemed to work the magic that it usually does.

This past Sunday i was so frazzled, having struggled to get the kids and myself up and ready for church knowing that I was to be the deacon stand in, that I almost ran over a man. As I was backing out of my driveway, the kids screaming in the back seat, a man ran by the car and smashed onto the windshield. I stopped, in shock, but he continued on his lovely Sunday morning run as if nothing had happened.  To the kids: "this is why you both need to be quiet while I am driving. I ALMOST KILLED A MAN."

Summer with the kids is fun, extremely fun, but oh so exhausting. At 6 and almost 9 these two have an insane amount of energy.

our redneck wonderland

Roger and I do our best to keep the kids outside and active during the summer months.

We realize these are the golden years of parenthood . . . or something like that . .  and we are doing our best to suck the goodness out of everyday.

These kids, they are too smart for their own good and Anna, let me tell you about Anna, that child has a wicked good sense of humor.  That girl is HILARIOUS. And Paul, well, that child thinks WAY TOO MUCH for a 3rd grader. The child refuses to go in the kid section of the library. He insists that he choose something from the history section.  And can you believe that he actually READS the books all the way through AND remembers everything that he has read?  Yep, he gets that from his father, not his mother.

Last night I met some lovely women for prayer. For about a month now a few women from the church have been gathering together on Monday evening to pray. It is a time for us women to get together to share the joys and burdens of our day to day lives and to pray. No bible study. Just time spent together in prayer. Last night I went even though I felt dry and numb. It has been hard for me to pick up scripture or to even pray. I'm pretty sure that is where my restlessness in coming from. It's my inability to spend some much needed time with the one who made me from mud.

After prayer and conversation I headed back home with a beautiful sunset to gaze at. It was stunning... and peaceful . . . and all together heavenly.

That drive home was a worship experience. A worship experience that my soul has been longing for. The honeysuckles, the cows, the corn, the horses, the country road, and the lovely breeze. It  was all a reset button on life that I so desperately needed.

This morning the scripture reading in my devotional was Revelation 21: 14-27. Yes, I was finally able to read scripture. I read those verses with awe, remembering the simple pleasure  I had the night before on that long curvy country road. When speaking of his vision of heaven the author of revelation writes. "The city had no need of the sun or the moon to shine in it, for the glory of God illuminated it. The Lamb is its light"

The beautiful setting sun that forced me stop my car to enjoy its splendor, is nothing compared to what the author of Revelation saw when he was given a glimpse of heaven.  The thought of that has humbled me and inspired me and given me peace today. 

When I am overwhelmed with internal tension I must remember that I need God and that most often I reconnect with Him/Her on long stretches of country roads.