Life as a Robot

The craziest thing happened last night.

Let me first back up to several months ago.

Several months ago I complained to my cardiologist that my heart was "feeling funning."

I felt as if my heart were skipping lots of beats resulting in me feeling some nausea, my lips going numb and sometimes going so far as to black out.

A 30 day halter monitor was ordered but nothing too serious was picked up.

When I went into the cardiologist to have an echo done the tech looked alarmed when I flat lined on the screen. Don't worry, my heart picked right back up on it's own!

The cardiologist gave me the all clear. He explained that I have a LOT of arrhythmia but he wants to hold out giving me the last ditch medication for when it gets REALLY bad.

really bad?

I thought the pacemaker was suppose to help with this?

I went home from the appointment a bit confused but having so many other life situations going on that I put my own heart in the back of my mind.

I'm still feeling the nausea each day, my lips still tingle and my face goes pale, and I still have moments when Roger has to catch me as I start to fall.

Yes, it has been worrying me a bit.

Especially when I am home alone with the kids.

I've taught Paul how to dial 911, told him I ALWAYS keep my phone in my pocket.

I'm just worried about if I am here alone with only Anna.

I'm not as confident in her abilities to call for help.

Last nigh,t as Roger and I were attempting to watch a movie together, I started feeling faint, went pale, and was having a hard time breathing.

I let Roger take a listen to my heart.

He typically takes a listen, tells me all is well and not to worry.

This time it was different.

He had his ear stuck to my chest for a long time.

When he pulled away you could see worry in his eyes.

It freaked me out.

He explained that he had NEVER heard my heart beat so funny before.

It was skipping beats, having fast beats, and really hard beats.

I started to cry.

"I knew it. I'm going to die. My heart is just going to STOP, Roger. I always knew I would NEVER make it to 30. I'm not going to get to see my children grow."

I get REALLY dramatic don't I?

When I got up to walk into the bedroom my heart started feeling a bit better.

I had Roger listen to it again.

This time it sounded better.

It sounded normal.

Then I got to thinking, how can I go exercise at the gym like I do and have no problems yet as soon as I sit down I start feeling sick and light headed?

I sat back down, got my heart to it's pacemaker set resting rate. 

The irregular heart beats came back. 

I started feeling sick, light headed.

I got up, started jumping around the house, getting my heart rate up.  

The irregular heart beats went away.

This is the conclusion that we have come to.

I think my pacemaker is set too low.

They have my resting rate at 64.

That is the lowest it has ever been in 12 years.

It is so low that the pacemaker isn't kicking in to help with the arrhythmia.

That's why when  my plus is up I have no arrhythmia. 

Hence why I can exercise and feel fine yet I can't sit on the couch and feel fine.

Roger and I both started laughing.  "I guess you wont have to remarry after all!!"

First thing Monday I am calling my cardiologist to set a time to get my pacemaker adjusted.

He'll probably let me come in that day for a quick tune up!

This whole "life as a robot" thing is a bit nuts.

You would think after 12 years of this I would be used to it.

But no, it is still very strange to have a piece of medical equipment keeping you alive.