The One Who Knows

The Lyrics to the above song:

Time it was I had a dream

And you're the dream come true

And if I had the world to give

I'd give it all to you.

I'll take you to the mountains

I will take you to the sea

I'll show you how this life became 

A miracle to me.

You'll fly away

but take my hand until that day

So when they ask how far love goes

When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows.

All the things you treasure most

Will be the hardest won

I will watch you struggle on

For the answers come

But I won't make it harder

I'll be there to cheer you up

I'll shine the light that guides you down

The road you're walking on

You'll fly away

but take my hand until that day

So when they ask how far love goes

When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows.

Before the mountains call to you

Before you leave this home

I will teach your heart to trust

As I will teach my own

But sometimes I will ask the moon

Where it shined upon you last

And shake my head and laugh me say

It all went by so fast

You'll fly away

but take my hand until that day

So when they ask how far love goes

When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows.

I've been back and forth for several months about whether or not to continue blogging.  I get a lot of support when I blog that I would other wise not get but I also get a lot of criticism.

Guess any writer gets their far share of that.

For the longest time I got emails about how I "didn't enjoy the blessings of being a parent" and that I needed to stop complaining about all the struggles that I go through because "I was so blessed to have the opportunity to be a mother."

I take every comment in deep consideration.  I thought and thought and thought.    I came to the conclusion that I was going to TRY to focus my stories more on the positive aspects of being a parent or at least TRY my best to look at the moments of parenthood that bring me to tears (sad, frustrated tears) in a more blissful way.

I believe I have been focusing on the immense amount of blessing that I have. The joy that comes from being a mom. But in doing so I was informed that I have been making people feel as if the only TRUE joy in life comes from being a parent.

I hate that I have made people feel that way. I hate that I made people mad for talking about how HARD being a parent is and I hate that I have made people mad for talking about how JOYFUL being a parent is.

This blog is not intended to point fingers at anyone but to get support so that I do not feel so alone in this joyfully hard role of mother.

It gets REALLY lonely.

I can't help but feel different now that I am a parent. I can't help but walk around with this unexplainable joy and want to tell people about it.

I also can't help being brought to tears because of the hardships that I face that are so unique to motherhood.

I just write for me.  To keep me sane, to help me reflect.

please don't be offended.... I'm just writing about my journey.  The jounery in which God called me out and said "Jessica, you are meant to love this beautiful family that I have placed before you."