Up and coming surgery

I know this is going to sound strange but I am so ready to have this new pacemaker put in. I have felt drained for a while now. I'm ready to get this past me. The next time I have to get a pacemaker Paul will be 15 and Anna will be 12. Isn't that CRAZY?!?!?!

I have all the nervous butterflies about the surgery. I've never met the doctor that will be cutting me open. Is he a good doctor? Will I feel comfortable asking him questions? Will he answer my questions or just stare at me like I am an idiot? The last time I had a pacemaker put in the doctor's bedside manner was HORRIBLE. He made me cry every time he walked in the room. He was very matter of fact and had no heart. A strange strange man. I'm confident that this new pacemaker dude can't be any worse than the first. I'm just nervous.

Then to make me even more nervous I was mentioning to someone about how simple the pacemaker replacement would be and she said "well, my daughter had her new pacemaker put in a couple of years ago and got a really bad infection and we almost lost her." Now, please tell me why you would tell someone that. Oh my gosh.

I'm more nervous about the drugs they will be giving me. There is one specific drug that they like to use that has a horrible side affect on me. I get really loopy but can feel pretty much everything. It is really horrible and very uncomfortable. When I was getting my c-section I told the sleepy doc about it and he rolled his eyes and gave it to me any way. By the time I got Roger to yell at the dude it was already too late. They were cutting my stomach and I could feel a good portion of it. I guess this time I am just going to have to be the loud mouth demanding patient. I really don't want to feel anything.

Oh and when I had my stint placed they kept me awake with that same medicine and I threw up ALL OVER the table, right in the middle of the procedure. I kept yelling "is it over yet. PLEASE GOD is it over yet. Can you just PLEASE put me to sleep." Then during the several hours you have to keep still on the bed I was so loopy I got up and tried to walk. Blood was EVERYWHERE because the wounds weren't healed yet and i almost bled to death. The nurses noticed me standing there bleeding and I remember having lots of pressure on both by legs before falling over. It makes me THAT sick and THAT uncomfortable. I had to apologize to my doctor, who I called Mr. Gadget because he looked JUST LIKE Mathew Broderick. I was probably the worst patient EVER. But when you are 15, loopy and can feel just about everything it makes for a bad situation.

But this surgery should be so incredibly simple compared to all the others. In and out. I'm just nervous. I have no clue what to expect. How long will it take? How long will I be in recovery? What types of meds do they plan on using? Will I be put to sleep or kept awake? How long until I can use my arm? I guess I'll find all this stuff out on monday during my pre-op. I'll meet the doctor and get on his nerves by asking way too many questions.

Anyway, I better go rest up!

PS: this time it should be better though. MY HUSBAND WILL BE THERE!!!!! Last time we were just dating and they kicked him out of the icu. It'll kinda be like a two day DATE. oooh la la..... how romantic.